The Things I Hate About You
by Falcone Kaerva
Summary: "Move." "Stuff you, move yourself." "I'll bite you to death." ...Say what? Kaze is a new student, and bumps into a specific...someone in the corridor. That someone, being Hibari Kyoya. First impression: LOSER. HibariXOC.
1. You're Violent

**This is kind of awkward. I never really considered writing a fanfiction, and this is my first one so thanks to anyone who reads it.**

**My great friend awesomeo123 finally convinces me to write one and two weeks later, KHR ends. Ain't that swell?**

**Anyways, here goes nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - You're Violent**

It was a very ordinary day when I first met him.

Wait, scratch that.

It was a very ordinary day when I first met..._it_.

You see, when one considers himself as a 'carnivore', he is, in fact, degrading himself to the level of an animal.

Stupid, really.

Why would any normal person want to lower himself to such an inferior race?

So anyways.

It was a very ordinary day when I first met it.

And now that I look back, I really should have made a better first impression.

No, not to _it_. What difference would that have made? No, I meant the student body. I should have made a better first impression to my classmates.

Ah well, too late now.

* * *

"Move."

I blinked and looked up, slightly confused. For a moment, I wasn't sure if I even heard correctly. It was pretty early in the morning, thus the corridor was mostly empty. People didn't seem to want to come to school so early for their first day back. So, even someone with a severe case of bulimia would be able to weave around leisurely. I didn't see why I had to 'move'.

And besides, I was totally not bothered.

Like, seriously, the momentum I had, completely disappeared the moment my motion stopped. I was so not screwed to muster the energy necessary to just steer from my intended course.

So I looked up from my very interesting iPod and glared at the not-so-very interesting obstruction. The dude glared back. I saw that he was really wearing slightly different uniform, and honestly...he was kinda short. And not very...buff. For a guy, that is.

So, seeing that he too, didn't seem like he wanted to move his ass, I, very calmly and politely, said, "Stuff you. Move yourself."

"I'll bite you to death."

...Say what?

See, this was what I heard; kamikorosu. And what my mind translated that to was, kami-god and korosu-to kill. So I was like...kill God? Or did he mean kill paper? Or was it kill hair…?

So, since I didn't know what the hell he was saying, I stood there and raised an eyebrow.

There was an awkward silence.

It seemed to me that he was waiting for a reaction. He was sorely disappointed.

Then he pulled out some...metal thingies. All I could think was that they were _shiny_. It was so cool, like, when he lifted them above his head, they caught the light of the sun and glinted in the bright light. It was like, dramatic epic moment.

Then I realised, a little too late, what the hell he was doing.

Oh shit.

He whacked my shoulder and I fell on my butt.

Ow… I put my iPod away, and glared up at the retard. He had a blank-ish face and was staring down at me.

I didn't like that. See, I kind of have this issue with feeling smaller than people. So if people were in a room with chairs, and no-one sat, even if I was really, really tired, I still wouldn't sit down. Because I just hate the feeling of people looking down at me, literally and figuratively.

So I groaned and stood up, facing him again. Man my shoulder stung like hell. _So this guy wants a piece of me?_ I calmly folded my arms over my chest. _I'd like to see him try._

He didn't move. I wasn't completely sure, but it seemed like my lack of reaction pissed him off a bit more.

There was silence.

Crickets chirped.

I brushed my fringe behind my ear.

He still stayed frozen.

…What a loser.

Then I noticed some flashy thingo on his arm. Oh, it was an armband. A very fancy looking armband.

I couldn't read it.

It's a sad fact, I know, but I just can't read things in fancy font. Like calligraphy; all the letters just blend together and I just can't see where one ends and where another starts…

So I squinted and unconsciously leaned closer.

Fu...u…fuu...ki…fuuki?

Fuck?

The bastard conveniently chose my moment of confusion to slam my face with his sticks.

I took a step back, but he still got me and I, once again, crumpled elegantly to the floor. I gently cradled my throbbing head and tried to maintain consciousness.

I got up and fully unleashed my rage in his face.

"I hate guys," I muttered darkly as my vision had started to blur from the rage.

Or maybe that was just what happens when someone slams your skull with a solid object. Like HARD FUCKING METAL.

He ignored me and lashed out again.

Now I was pissed. What the hell was this guy's PROBLEM?!

I was not going to just stand there and get beaten up by some guy. I lunged at him aiming for his...uh...private parts.

I missed.

He once again whacked my head that sailed under his arm.

Why did the floor have to be so frigging hard? At least the damn freak had the decency to let me get up before he attacked me again. I tried to kick his legs, but he sidestepped it and...HIT ME ON THE HEAD.

OH MAH FREAKING GAWD.

I NEED MY INTELLIGENCE GODDAMN IT. And I'm not going to have any left if a hooligan keeps on WHACKING MY FUCKING HEAD.

This time, he didn't wait for me to get back up.

I finally knew why all those bully victims are always curled up on the ground. When you're up against a lot of people, or in my case; a nutcase with insane strength, it's so much easier to just protect yourself.

Namely, my HEAD.

The pain was unbelievable. At least he was hitting places other than my head too. Which kinda didn't make much of a difference.

Suddenly I looked up because the continuous string of beatings had stopped.

I slowly peeked out from under my arms to look up at the asshole. I pondered whether I should get up, or if that would just be a waste of energy since he would probably just beat me to the ground again.

Ah, who gives a crap.

I got up, with much difficulty because MY WHOLE FRIGGING EXISTENCE HURT LIKE HELL. I looked the freak in the eye and slowly put one hand on my hip.

I didn't see it coming. He swung his thing so fast it blurred.

And thus, I oh-so-gracefully blacked out. And probably face-planted the floor.

It was at that moment when I realized…isn't fuuki like disciplinary committee or some crap like that?

* * *

"Kami Kaze! Is there a Kami-kun here?"

"Hai sensei. I'm here," I muttered, slowly raising my hand. My head still hurt from the morning's…encounter, with a certain individual.

"I don't think she's here today, sensei," Hana Kurokawa answered, looking around the classroom.

"Oi, class rep, I'm here. I. Am. Here," I called, a little louder, banging a fist onto the table. Aw man, I shouldn't have done that. Refraining from hissing out loud, I pressed an icepack to my shoulder.

"Ah, it's a shame. Does anyone here know her?"

"I heard she was a transfer student from the private school in the town next over," a boy piped up.

"According to my friend, she's really hard to notice! But she's super smart…"

I faceplamed. Hard to notice? No shit, man…

Then some girl decided to ruin the mood. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, "Apparently, this morning, Hibari-san beat her up for something. She's probably a delinquent…"

Huh, so that's what his name was…Hibari. Sounds gay.

"Okay class, quiet down, I'll just mark her as away. If anyone sees her, please let me know."

Slightly angry, I stood up and walked towards the teacher at the front of the class.

And I slapped him. "I am present, se-n-se-i."

Silence.

…

Maybe I'll just spend the rest of the day in the infirmary…

* * *

"Tadaima," I called out as I walked into the house. It was rare that my mother actually let me walk the five-minute distance back home from the station. She was the paranoid, overprotective, control-freak type, you know? I walked around the house and finally found her sleeping on the couch.

…What, did she waste too much energy shopping?

I sighed and went back to my room. Sinking onto my bed I took off the precautionary gear that was meant to hide my bruises from my mother.

It hurt _everywhere_.

Man that bastard was going to pay. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hide injuries when they cover more than 70% of your body? I don't even want to know what my mum would do if she found out.

So, now, what to do as payback…

I have no knowledge of self defense, whatsoever. I blame my mother completely. She wouldn't let me take martial arts lessons, because I '_have no self-control'_. Apparently. She tends to think that people who aren't naturally peaceful will use their martial arts knowledge in the real world, against other people. Like my father. But that's a story for another time.

I suppose I _have _considered it using it on other people … but still, it is necessary for my survival in reality, you know? I tried telling her of the possibilities that would happen if I couldn't defend myself; kidnappers, serial killers, bullies, stalkers…

Her solution?

_Use your brain. People who use their brains don't end up in those situations._

Like, the fuck?

So… if I use my brain:

On a dark and stormy night, a young girl walked down an abandoned alleyway. She had her umbrella at the ready, in case the grey storm clouds above let out their heavy load. Lightning lit the sky, highlighting shadows of creatures unknown. She quickly hurried down the road and as the rain started pouring down, a figure clad in black stepped out into the moonlight, blocking the female's way.

A cloud flew over and suddenly covered the moon. The only other light source available was a yellow flickering streetlamp.

The girl stopped in her tracks, pausing to see whether the stranger was a friend or foe.

The stranger slowly advanced towards the girl and leisurely pulled out a knife. It glinted menacingly in the murky light of the streetlamp.

The girl bean to slowly retreat back the way she had come as the figure calmly stalked his prey.

Then, the girl swiftly pulled out…

A pen and a notebook.

Resting her open umbrella on her shoulder to protect the paper from getting wet, she pointed the pen at the stranger.

"Judging by the distance you have travelled and how fast you travelled it, I concluded that you are advancing on me at an average speed of about two kilometres per hour! If I move at a speed of three kilometres per hour, I can easily outrun you!"

The girl quickly jotted something down in her book.

"But that is only if I choose the flight option! If I decided to stay and fight, I'd also have a pretty good chance! Judging by how dim the light being reflected off your knife is, I'd say the lustre of your weapon is not very high, thus I can safely conclude that it is of poor quality. Meaning that its Mo's Law ranking is around 4. Aluminium is a six. I just so happen to have an aluminium bottle in my bag. I can easily defeat you!"

…

Yeah, sure mum. Use my brain. That's going to be real effective.

I wonder why she has an anti-stalker kit when she is all for 'using the brain'.

Hang on…lightbulb.

She has an anti-stalker kit. It has a taser (don't ask me why, I kinda assumed they were illegal, but never look a gift horse in the mouth, right?).

Taser = electricity.

Electricity is conducted by metal.

Guess who has nice big shiny metal thingies that they carry around near their body?

* * *

**Uhh, this is a collaboration story with awesomeo123. awesomeo123 wrote most of the story and it was her original idea.**

**Feel free to give me any constructive criticism, typos or just random stuff you want to share...**

**Falcone out.**

**And please, it's not pronounced the same as Batman's Falcone. It's: fal-CONE. Like ice cream CONE.**

**Thank you.**


	2. You're Stupid

**Thanks to all those ppl who reviewed and favourited and followed. Personally, I don't don't know if that says something about me and awesomeo123's writing, but apparently it's a good thing. So thanks, you ppl.**

**Soooo...**

**Next chapter. Because awesomeo123 wanted to update every two weeks. We didn't do so well on that but, no matter.**

**She's such a demanding person...**

**I'm going away for holidays soon, to a place where internet does not exist... jokes. It exists, I just don't have access to it. This might be the last update until next year.**

**So yeah, just a heads up.**

**This story is a collaboration with awesomeo123. I don't own KHR. Probably.**

* * *

**Chapter Two - You're Stupid**

The next morning, I was ready to kill.

You see, there is no greater shame, than being publically humiliated on one's first day in a new environment.

So I felt I should return the favour.

It took me almost half an hour, but I finally found him in the Reception room (maybe I should have checked there in the first place), lounging away like a spoilt brat.

He looked at me. "Why are you not in class, herbivore?"

Ignoring him, I held out the taser in front of his face. I pressed it so that a ray of crackling electricity could be seen on the end of the plastic black cube.

I should have gotten more sleep. What was I expecting him to do? Reach out and touch the damn thing?

He narrowed his eyes and pulled out his sticks to whack the taser away.

The metal lightly brushed the electric charge and I saw the electricity move up the pole to his hand. He jerked and slumped back onto the sofa he was sitting on.

Dumbass, he actually fell for it. He's so stupid.

I walked out the door feeling triumphant.

Now, bastard, it's one all.

* * *

Perhaps I spoke…just a little too soon.

During a lovely lesson of English, where I was on the verge of learning something new, he came in. Nearly ripping the door off its hinges, too.

The little Iinchou was mad. Definitely.

I couldn't help but smirk at his hair; it stuck up in all different directions. I kinda wished I didn't sit right next to the door, though. He turned and grabbed the front of my shirt, I didn't even have time to think 'perv'.

"Just spare the face…" I reasoned. Right before the metal came crashing above my eye. I was tempted to laugh and say 'you missed!".

He glared and continued to strike.

I'd left my taser in my bag, thinking I was finished with it. How wrong I was.

* * *

I could faintly hear some annoying noise in my ear. I could've sworn it was a mosquito.

"K-chan!"

Abruptly, I woke.

My brown eyes met blue ones.

"Yumi. I know we're friends and all, but what the HELL are you doing here?"

"We're not friends," he reminded me, checking his watch.

I slowly got myself upright, with much effort and pain. It seemed that I was in the school infirmary. Or so said the sign on the door.

A clock on the wall read 8 o'clock, fuck…mom's going to kill me…

Wow, I didn't think people were allowed in school this late. Where was the doctor? I recalled hearing that he was a womaniser and tended to neglect his duties. He probably got drunk or something.

So…what happened again?

Ah, right. A little birdy went on a rampage because he couldn't handle a little shock.

Wait… what the hell? I'd been unconscious this whole time? At school?

"Right, whatever…" I muttered, poking the bruises on my arms as I remembered him standing there.

You see, Sakurai Fuyumi was what I would consider a friend, but to him, I was considered a 'little brother'.

"So what are you here for?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Your mum was worried," he grinned. "My dad's buying you some time."

"What lie did you tell her?"

"I dunno, I told my dad to do it. We've only got twenty minutes until it ain't gonna be legit though."

I nodded and abruptly stopped from the pain that caused.

"Can you walk?" he asked , pulling me into an upright position.

I slowly shook my head.

"Okay I'll piggy back you." He crouched down and tried to gently pull me onto his back.

I jerked, "What?! No! I can wa-"

Uh…no, I actually wasn't screwed to walk.

"I win," he grinned and once again tried to move me onto him.

"Hate you." I folded my arms over my chest. With much difficulty.

"Just get on," he sighed. "Twenty minutes is not a long time. You're Mum's gonna be pissed."

Grudgingly, I let him helped me up.

He was actually pretty tall. As he settled me into a decent position so he could move, I patted his black hair. It was still as fluffy as I remembered.

"Excuse," he suddenly said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hah?"

"An your injuries."

I waited.

"You got hit by a car." His sounded so proud of himself and I wanted to smash his face.

"Dude! The hell are you thinking?! If I said that, my mum would go freaking crazy, and would probably say something like, 'you can't go home by yourself, I'll wait for you at the school gate every day' !"

"It was a SUGGESTION. Hm…how about you tell her you joined a sports club? She'll like that, wouldn't she? Isn't she always telling you to go exercise?"

"…Are you implying that I go to the powerwalking club, and just so happen to trip every other bloody day? Because these injuries are _temporary_.I am not going to have these injuries _all the time._"

"Fine then, you think of something K-chan," he grumbled, shifting my weight to one side as he opened the door.

"Uh…I was studying…and I fell out of the chair."

I could just see him rolling his eyes as he sighed, "A little unbelievable, bro. Why don't you use that smart head of yours to think of a better excuse?"

Muttering under my breath that I did _not_ have a 'smart brain', I looked around. Thank god people didn't seem to want to stay at school so late. Gee, I wonder why. As I looked over my shoulder up into the darkening sky, my blood ran cold.

Hibari was staring. _From the roof._

"Yumi! Run!" I hissed, whacking my fist up and down on his shoulder.

"W-wha?"

"Run!" I panicked and started pulling his hair. "Giddyup!"

"Ow, I'm not a horse, K-chan…" he complained, but started running anyway.

The guy was pretty fit.

After about five minutes of flat out sprinting, he slowed down to catch his breath. It was slightly disappointing, I mean, really? Only five minutes? That's kinda sad…but then again, I guess I wasn't exactly light as a feather…

"So, KK, what was that for?" he seemed like he was struggling to breathe…huh.

"Um, there was a guy on the roof…and he's the one who, uh, gave me …uh…these…" I muttered, gesturing to my bandages and bruises.

"What?!" He started running back the way we came, to the direction of the school. _With me still on his back._

"Wait!" I cried, wrapping my arms around his neck, strangling him.

"I'm gonna teach that fucker a lesson!" he yelled. "No-one messes with my little bro!"

I dead-panned, god this guy was retarded. Not wanting to point out that I was a girl, I suppose he was being metaphorical. "It's…it's not his fault…" I lied through my teeth, trying to get him to stop."I…sort of…tasered him."

Yumi stopped. Finally. His ragged sprinting was bringing out all the pain from my injuries. "You WHAT?"

"Um…long story, how about you just get me home and I'll tell you some other time?"Not really sure if he would accept my bluff, I tried nudging him back in the right direction.

It took a while, but it seemed like he was willing to accept my lie when he finally turned around and started jogging towards my place.

I got off Yumi's back when we reached the front door. There was no reason for my mother to rant for a couple of hours about my stupidity and recklessness that got me a stack of injuries. Actually, seeing that there were guests, she'd probably start right after they left.

Yumi helped me as I limped through the front door and into the living room. There was silence. And it wasn't just any normal silence, where everyone was doing their own thing and was enjoying each other's' company. It was the dude-you're-in-deep-shit-I-feel-for-you-but-I-can' t-help-you silence. It was extremely awkward. Yumi slowly put me down on the ground, but still supported me since I couldn't really stand properly.

Yumi's dad nodded to me in acknowledgement. I bowed awkwardly in return, all the while feeling my mum's piercing stare (glare) that was trained on my face.

I tried for a cough to break the silence, "Um…I'm home…Mom?"

"Akiya-san told me you got hurt," she stated flatly, clearly questioning my appearance.

"Uh, um…yeah..I…uh...um..."

"She fell down the stairs," Yumi butted in, giving my mum a bright smile. The jerk.

I forced a smile, "Yeah, you know how I'm all careless and all?"

She glared, but eventually nodded. "Don't let it happen again." She turned to him, her voice doin a full one eighty change. "Thank you for bringing her home, Fuyumi, she's such a troublesome child. Doesn't think of her mother at all. Breaks my heart." I mentally rolled my eyes. Such a drama queen. She faced me again. "Kaze, go make tea, can't you see there are guests, what happened to all the manners I taught you?"

Obediently, I left. Stiffly acknowledging Yumi's dad's apologetic look.

"Actually Kaze, do you mind if I give you a hand?" he asked, standing up. My mother didn't look pleased, but since it was Akiya-san, she let it slide.

"Um...no, I don't mind?" I answered, confused.

Yumi's expression turned to one of horror. "Dad. You're...leaving?"

"Be a man."

As my mum started spouting out words of praise, I left Yumi awkwardly smiling at my mum just as she began patting and beaming at him.

Taking out the tea from the drawer, I showed him where the cups were. Yumi's Dad and I never really had...what one might call a 'conversation'. He knew I sneaked out every Tuesday and Friday night with Yumi (hanging out as friends not...something...disturbing). He knew I often got into trouble and when I did, he'd help me keep it from my mum with his glorifying influence as the male support in her life. He spoke first.

"I'm assuming you lost the fight?"

"Only the second round," I muttered, before catching myself. "Wait. How did you know? Do you stalk?" I asked, slightly creeped.

Laughing, he replied, "Of course not. I've seen plently of injuries before."

"Really?" I asked sceptically, waiting for the water to boil. "What's your job again? Yumi never answers that one."

"Secret," he replied with a smile. "It gets a bit rowdy every now and then, I suppose. So, who was it?"

"His last name's Hibari. Black hair, kinda short, scrawny, slanted eyes, blah blah blah."

He suddenly looked serious. "You shouldn't hang around him. He's with a bad crowd."

"You mean the delinquents he calls a bloody disciplinary committee?"

Yumi's Dad paused for a moment. " Yeah. The delinquents. Dangerous."

…Okay, he had a weird expression on his face, but I chose to ignore it.

The kettle started screaming and I quickly went to shut it up. As I did so, Yumi's dad grabbed my arm and exposed my black and purple skin. I grimaced and looked at him. He had narrowed his eyes and his face took on a contemplative face. Struggling just the tiniest bit, I one-handedly made the tea my mom was expecting.

Yumi's dad finally spoke up. "What weapon did this _Hibari_ use?"

"Uh…long metal stick things about the length of a forearm. With handles,". I so failed at explaining things. Using my hands to demonstrate what I was picturing did not help.

"They're called tonfas. They're ninja weapons,"He said sternly.

Ah. Right, so that's what they were called. "Are they expensive?"

"They're dangerous. He's dangerous."

"Wait, let me guess, your _secret_ job?"

"Exactly. And I know you will want to try again, so if you do, try a more…subtle approach."

"Like what? I got nothing."

"Did you know that sulphur smells really bad? And that schools usually keep a large supply in their science storerooms?"

I got it.

When we went back, my mother looked at us incredulously. "That took a long time. For tea…"

"The kettle was malfunctioning," he said sweetly. Huh, I totally see where Yumi got his skills from…even though he was technically adopted…

* * *

And so, my battle with…Hibari… became a daily habit.

He would win some…and I would almost win others.

But then, one day…

* * *

**Whoo. Cliffhanger. **

**I swear it sounds too dramatic, but blame awesomeo123. Totally her fault.**

**I honestly have no idea where we're going with this story sooo... You peoples have any ideas? **

**Um... I had something to say, but I forgot...damn. **

**Uh, lemme think...**

**...I don't think this was what I wanted to say, but, the chapter titles. They're really iffy. See, awesomeo123 made the title, right?**

**So, like, The Things I hate About You, yeah?**

**And then the chapter titles would be: 'You Are blah' , right?**

**BUT, she accidentally wrote 'He Is' for the first chapter (I fixed it, but she probs won't notice...) and she thinks we should just leave it like that.**

**So what you ppls think?...Is this A/N too long?**


	3. You're Weird

**Oh look. An update. Shock.**

**Me and awesomeo123 decided to update one last time before I leave tomorrow.**

**It was extremely rushed. I ruined her time to study for piano. I'M SORRY, MAN.**

**Anyways, here.**

**I give you more of this collab with awesomeo123.**

**I don't own KHR.**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - You're Weird**

I got a job.

Um, wait, that's not the epic 'one day' thing. But still. I got a job.

See, I was walking down the hallway the other day. Enjoying my extremely dry sandwich I was, when suddenly, some guy runs around the school screaming my name.

It's bad enough that I hated my name, (who in their right mind would name their kid after a bunch of suicide pilots?), but to hear it being shouted out for the whole world to hear just pissed me off all that much more.

He ran past me _twice_, without even giving me a glance. The third time he came round, I stuck out my foot and he fell flat to the floor. I blatantly ignored the sickening crack.

"Kami Kaze! Kami-sama! I've been looking for you everywhere – just, well, I need your help. Please!" he cried. Seriously, so much water was coming out of his eyes and down his face, I was almost concerned. Almost. And I tried not to cringe at what he called me. Kami-sama? Dude, are you serious? You make me sound like God…

"Who the hell are you?"

He took a step back. "M-my name is-"

I was becoming impatient. "Right, whatever. What class are you in?"

"I sit in front of you," he said bluntly, partly hurt.

Oh. I thought he looked familiar. Continuing to munch on my dry, dry sandwich, I briefly wished I had enough money to buy one of the school's bentos. What's the fuss about everyone wanting to buy those…what's-it-ma-call-it…burger bread…? No that's not it…spaghetti bread…? Eh, something like that. Those things are all so dry and unappetising. Then I remembered that he was still there.

My mouth was stuffed with food and since I was raised to be a 'well-mannered and polite' young lady, I chose not to speak with my mouth full, and thus several extra seconds of silence passed between us. "You need something?"

"Um…I-I heard you were on good terms with Hibari-san….and um…I was crowding in front of him." He coughed, and when he started, there was a new light in his eyes. "But you can talk to him!"

"Why should I help you?"

"I'll get you anything you want. Money. Food. Make-up. Vouchers. Whatever."

I kept chewing.

He kept sweating.

But I contemplated. There were specific favours that could've been useful. And he looked pretty desperate. But then there was the 'talk to Hibari'. I hadn't seen him a while and now this guy wants me to 'talk to him'? Hell, Hibari doesn't even do 'talking'.

I thought about what he was implying.

But was getting beat up for some guy really worth a wimpy favour from a guy? It was at an inconvenient moment like this that my stomach rumbled.

…awkward. I totally lost my badass emo girl reputation there.

He widened his eyes and suddenly pulled out a bunch of junk food and ten hundred yen. "Here. I'll give all this to you too."

I was tempted, really, really tempted. I was on the verge of accepting his request, but then I remembered Yumi telling me once that I was easily bribed. I don't think ten hundred yen and five kilos of junk food would be listed as 'easily bribed', but I guess pushing him a bit more couldn't hurt.

"Buy me the next three editions of Shonen Jump on top of that. And then we have a deal."

He looked like God himself had come to save him. Get it? _God_? No? Okay, nevermind.

"Thank you! I'll take this back and put it in your shoe locker for you, then." I narrowed my eyes, not entirely trusting him with the money. So I let him take the junk food as I pocketed the cash.

He ran off shouting words of praise as I slowly trudged off towards the reception room.

And my bruises had finally started fading too…

And so, I became the rentable meat shield of Namimori junior high students against their oh-so-dedicated protector of 'peace'. Money was not the only form of payment.

* * *

Okay. Here we go.

One day I was on the roof.

Anyways, that day had started off rather eventful. For the past two weeks, my bouts with Hibari had become a daily event. And so were the injuries, excuses to my mother, as well as my decreasing hate for Hibari. I never even found out what his first name was either – and I wasn't screwed to ask around.

Kicking open the door, I walked across the roof and leant on the fence. For a while, I let the gentle breeze cool my mind. And then I sighed.

"I just don't see the point in this anymore! Just...why the hell am I still trying to piss him off? It's not even that fun anymore. All he does is bash me up. At first I thought it would be good for my pain tolerance, but he only does the same thing _over_ and _over_ again. Hell! "

Letting out another deep sigh, a small yellow bird landed on the fence beside me. Pointing forcefully, I expected it to fly away. But it cocked its head to one side, looking as innocent as ever. "You know, I envy you, bird. Because you're free. You can fly. I want to fly too. When I'm older, I'm going to jump off a cliff. A really high cliff. That way, flying will be the last thing I do in my life." I felt really stupid talking to a bird, but hey, it was fluffy.

Wait, hang on, "Does falling still count as flying? It's flying downwards isn't it?..." The bird turned its head as if it was listening intently. Though feeling that I'd ranted enough to the bird, I stood up straighter, and tried to rethink my situation with Hibari.

"My grades are dropping. My mom's getting suspicious. And I'm running out of ideas to get Hibari," I admitted to myself. Pusing myself off the fence, I made my way to the exit. "Whatever. Nice talking to you, bird."

It chirped cheerfully in, what I figured was, a reply.

As I left the roof, I had a momentary thought. Why did I just say all that crap aloud? Usually I'd just vent silently in my head. Weird.

Shrugging it off, I walked out to go find somewhere to take a nap.

* * *

_On the other side of the roof, Hibari Kyoya listened in silence._

* * *

Walking around the town at night with Yumi was always quite comforting. Aside from the adrenaline that came with sneaking out of the house and stalking the shadows of the streets. Tonight was a full moon. It made a night out that much nicer. And spring was always full of storms – a little bit of divine wind here and there. Pun intended.

"K-chan, let's go get some coffee," Yumi yawned, patting my head to get my attention.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I turned to him. We were already outside the little corner shop. "Ok. You get it. I'm staying out here."

Yumi looked up and down the street. "I dunno. It's dark. A lot of dangers out to get my little bro."

"But it's nice and cool out here. Unlike in there, where it's hot."

"It's not that hot."

Walking up to the door I pushed it open so that gusts of hot stuffy air came billowing out into both our faces. Then I stared pointedly at him. "Yumi. It's like – two minutes in and out of the store. You will be," I looked back to the doors to judge the distance, "Ten metres away. You'll know if something happens. Relax."

He looked doubtful, but didn't argue as I pushed him through the doors.

I watched him walk towards the counter, throwing worried glances over his shoulder at me. I waved reassuringly. Unfortunately, as soon as he averted his gaze, I turned to see a group of loud, half-drunk boys. It was one of those bad crowds that mothers tended to order you to avoid.

Hoping that by being silent and still, it would help me stay out of their sight, I slowly backed into the shadows and slowed my breathing. But then they started pushing each other and one of then accidentally tripped into me.

"Aha ha…what do we have here?" the guy hiccupped, leaning down to my height. His rancid smell made me hold my breath. I kept silent, but I could feel my heart start to beat faster.

Another one of the boys poked my cheek. "She's cute. And these cheeks are so…poofy. Ha!"

I could feel the corner of my eye twitching.

"Say, you look like a nice girl. Wanna play with us?" the leader of the group asked, reaching for me.

My hands started twitching. Should I call out to Yumi? Run away? Get help? Fight or flight? The adrenaline was making my ears ring. I decided to stand my ground. Slowly raising a clenched fist I pulled back my arm-

And then that guy flew halfway down the street.

I blinked once, and the boys all disappeared. I breathed sharply when I saw why.

Hibari.

Why the fuck was Hibari up at the three in the morning.

Why the fuck was Hibari within a three metre radius from me.

Why the fuck was Hibari helping me?!...But then I guess in his books, this didn't exactly count as 'helping' me. More like, cleaning up the streets. But still.

He didn't even turn. Calmly looking at the damage he'd done, he walked past with his nose in the air, with all the pride and dignity of…I don't know, the Prince of Wales or something. And then, I assumed, he spoke to me. "Children shouldn't stay up late."

"You're not much older than me," I retorted.

Hibari kicked another semi-conscious body. And ignored my existence.

Yumi came out of the store, holding a steaming cup of coffee. He looked at the bodies. Dropped the coffee (suprisingly it completely missed his foot. Damn). And swore. "Two minutes. TWO MINUTES?!"

I was tempted to glare disapprovingly at Yumi. He left me to be saved by _Hibari_. I would never be able to live with that shame, you know? But instead, I ignored my friend as he ranted about what had just happened.

Hibari had started walking away. Staring after him, all I could think was, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT GUY?

* * *

_Nine year old Fuyumi watched his little brother play in their backyard in Italy. His arms were extended as he ran around making airplane noises. He saw their parents on the veranda, laughing at the younger boy's antics. _

_"Fratello! Come here! I want to show you something," the little boy suddenly called out, his blue eyes shining with happiness. He had stopped his piloting game and was kneeling on the ground with something hidden in his cupped hands. Fuyumi couldn't help but be slightly suspicious as to what he was holding._

_Fuyumi waved and slowly walked over from his spot under a tree. _

_"Bend down! And close your eyes!" _

_Fuyumi reluctantly obeyed bowing his head to the younger child's height._

_"Okay! Stand up!"_

_Fuyumi found himself with a flower in his hair. Unsure of what to make of this, Fuyumi gave an awkward smile._

_His brother grinned wider than ever. "Haha, fratello, you look like a girl!"_

_…Fuyumi couldn't help but feel a little insulted._

_But even then, looking back, he missed the days when they sat under the tree in their garden. Their parents had died in a freak accident. They'd been taken to an orphanage. And then, they were split up._

_Fuyumi had been adopted by…a man in the 'not-so-legit' business, whilst his brother had been taken in for human experimentation by some mafia family some months before._

_The man who had adopted Fuyumi had then taken him to Japan. It had only been a few months until he first met…her._

_By chance, that day, Fuyumi was leaning against a fence post from the local park, staring up at the afternoon sky. Across the road, elementary school students were let out of their prison by a loud bell. He watched as the crowd of short sailor uniformed kids ran out into the arms of parents and guardians. _

_Around ten kids who'd crossed the road ran together laughing, organising a game of some sort to play. He bitterly watched them run around screaming and having fun. Then he noticed a little girl sitting on the swings by herself. He waited to see if she would go join the others._

_She didn't._

_She sat there swinging her legs on the high seat, staring blankly in front of her. He noticed that she did not look fully Japanese. Though her hair and eye colours were typically Asian, her face shape said otherwise._

_She was sitting there looking so pitiful that Fuyumi decided to approach the fact that he hadn't spent much time communicating with others since he'd arrived in Japan. _

_"You…me push…little girl…?" He also didn't know much Japanese. It even sounded awful as it left his mouth – he suppressed a shudder and forced a weak smile._

_She stared up at him eyes with a blank face and didn't answer. Fuyumi realised his mistake. Kids were taught not to talk to strangers._

_As he was about to turn away, the girl spoke up, "You talk funny. You're not Japanese."_

_"I'm…Italian."_

_"You said it wrong. Watashi is for girls. Boys say boku," she stated bluntly._

_Fuyumi cursed under his breath. His foster father had mentioned that before. The embarrassment caused by the elementary school kid made him slightly irritated. "Push or no?"_

_"Yes. Please."_

_Despite their awkward first encounter, Fuyumi waited for the girl to finish school every day. He couldn't quite put his finger on why. But she was…different._

_For the next week, Fuyumi found himself enjoying himself for the first time in months. He'd do a few chores for his foster father, before going off to see that little girl. Each time, after about an hour, she would leave through a hole in the fence at the far end of the park. She would wave and promise to see him the next day before disappearing from his sight to what, he assumed, was her house on the other side._

_One specific day, a few meters away in the meadow, the girl called out, "Nii-san, come here." _

_"What is it?" he asked, getting up and dusting himself off._

_Motioning for him to bend down, she covered his eyes with one hand and did something with his hair. When she removed her hand, she stepped back to appraise her work. "Ta-da. You look just like a girl. It's pretty, yeah?"_

_Fuyumi reached up and touched he flower in his hair. He was absolutely speechless. "H-huh…what's your name?"_

_"Kami Kaze. What about you, nii-san?"_

_He smiled. "Sakurai Fuyumi."_

_She made a face. "It sounds like a girl's name."_

_"Manners, otōto-kun. I'm still older than you."_

_"I'm not a boy."_

_"Well I'm not a girl." _

_They both gave each other a wry smile._

* * *

**Ok.**

**Fuyumi omake to fill space. More words. Whatever.**

**See you next year people**


	4. You're Full Of Mysteries

**Uh...hi. Awesomeo123 here. How's life? Boring. How do I know? Why else would you being reading fanfiction...**

**This chapter is set I suppose at the beginning of the Varia arc. And before anyone asks, Kaze will not magically become Tsuna's eighth guardian. Coz that would just be...weird. **

**Thanks for the reviews, favouriteers, story followers. Sorry if it's crap but...uh...enjoy?**

* * *

**Chapter 4 - You're Full Of Mysteries**

Argh, bloody hell. The train was late.

Again.

AGAIN.

Just because some guy wanted to suicide. Idiot. Attention seeker. Should've jumped off a cliff, dumbass. At least that way, you don't interrupt people's lives when you chicken out.

I rushed into the classroom, out of breath with random excuses at the ready. Because adults (especially teachers) just don't seem to be capable of understanding that it's NOT the child/student's fault when public transport screws up.

Lately, the teacher began to notice my presence. And I suppose he never did forgive me for slapping him that first day. So the spite in his voice was well deserved. "Kami-kun. So glad you could join us. Since you and these gentlemen here were late, you can all do this assignment together."

Turning to see the three aforementioned 'gentlemen', I blanched. The tall black-haired one stood there smiling at me. Creepy… There was a shorter silver-haired guy who just kept glaring at the teacher. I vaguely recalled him and the teacher being on excellent terms. And then there was the very short brown-haired one. Who looked like he was going to cry. He had really big eyes though, for a guy. Was he taking hormones or something?

"Well, now I'll have to rearrange the numbers," he said gruffly before walked away through class filled with students scattered around the room. _Well I'm so sorry for ruining your epic 'class plans'._

Without a choice, we all stood together and an awkward silence hung in the air. For once, I decided to break it.

I twiddled my thumbs. "So, who are you people?" Gawd, this was awkward.

The brown haired one looked at me in surprise, but thankfully held the silver haired one back. "E-eh? But Kami-san, we've been in the same class for two weeks now…"

Bro. Just because we've sat in the same class six hours a day, five days a week, for two weeks, does not mean I have to know you.

The silver haired guy was immediately in my face. "How dare you not know Juudaime's name?! The Vongola family shall - "

_Dude…have you not heard of personal space?!_

The tall, black haired one laughed. "Haha, Kaze-san, do you know my name then?"

_Well, obviously not. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked, genius. _As the three bickered among themselves, I tuned out. This was the first day in my two weeks at this school in which I hadn't done anything to harass Hibari. My body was itching to do something. But the events of the previous night had literally given me nightmares. Scarred me for life. Hibari had helped - no, assisted me. Highly disturbed, I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my mind to some loud annoying noise.

"…ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, WOMAN?"

I didn't want to hurt his feelings. On seconds thoughts: I didn't care. But to be honest, I didn't quite catch half of what he'd just said. _Maybe I should start a new conversation?_ "Yes. Totally." I agreed. "Your hair looks very straight indeed. Been to a hair stylist, have you?"

His eyes twitched, and he pulled something out of his pockets. "WOMAN! HOW DARE YOU - "

"Are you intentionally trying to be sexist or are you actually trying to scare me with your dynamite?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

For some reason the tall one barely reacted as I narrowed my eyes at the things the silver-haired one was holding. He smiled knowingly and mouthed 'party poppers' at me.

Really? Party poppers?

"Gokudera-kun, please calm down…" The brunette insisted, and the one that I assumed was 'Gokudera' grudgingly shoved his sticks back into his pockets. Turning to me, the brunett extended a quivering hand–supposedly for a handshake. "N-nice to meet you Kami-san, my name is Sawada Tsunayoshi." He hesitated and shook his head, looking more confident. "But you can call me Tsuna."

…Tsuna…? That's a really bad name. I really hate the 'tsu' part of words…Tsuna, Tuna…fish…food. Gawd that just reminded me of my constant hunger. "Yoshi. Wonderful name. Nice to meet you, Yoshi-kun."

"Huh…?"

"How dare you defile Juudaime's name?!"

The black haired one whacked me on the shoulder. Good naturedly, I assumed. "Ha ha, Yoshi is a cool name! I'm Yamamoto Takeshi."

Yamamoto was such a common name. But then again, so was Takeshi. Eh, Takeshi sounds cooler. "Hi, Takeshi-kun."

"Are you mentally retarded, woman?! It's rude to call someone by their first name!"

"Ha ha, he's Gokudera Hayato," Takeshi grinned, obviously not offended.

"I noticed," I scowled. "Name's too long. Let's just go with Goku. With the character for country," I offered.

"WHAT?!"

And so, that was our wonderful introduction.

The teacher finally came back after half an hour with two girls in tow. Tsuna's face immediately turned a deep shade of red. "Sasagawa-kun and Kurokawa-kun here have room for one of you to join," he said stiffly. I recognised Kurokawa as the class rep, and her attitude annoyed me at times. As for Kyoko…well…she wasn't exactly bright. And Kyoko's hair was a vivid orange. My eyes…they burned…

One look and it was pretty clear that Tsuna had deep, _deep_ feelings for Kyoko. So I decided to put him out of his misery. "Here, Yoshi-kun will join them." I gave him a shove in the smiling girl's direction. He _did_ like that one right? Because if he didn't, that would be _awkward_…

"Hie! What are you doing, Kami-san?!"

Gokudera pounced, pulling Tsuna back. "How dare you do that to juudaime!" Geez, what was with this guy? He was so…_possessive_.

"You gotta learn to let go, Goku. One shouldn't get so attached to things," I muttered.

Apparently, his ears were sharp. "WHAT DID YOU SAY, WOMAN?" he declared, half strangling Tsuna.

The teacher, sensing that Tsuna wanted no part in this immediately grouped him with the girls. And Gokudera started yelling angrily at me. I nodded whenever I deemed appropriate. The only thing my mind could think about, was why Gokudera had dynamite. I was no fool.

There was no way in hell that they were party poppers.

* * *

"My grades. I can see them dying. Why? FUCK YOU GOKU. FUCK YOU TAKESHI. I TRUSTED YOU. Actually, I didn't. But still…"

"Kami-kun, uh…don't take it to heart…" Tsuna tried to reason hopelessly.

"Well, where the hell are they then?!" she hissed, glaring out the window.

Tsuna hesitated. Gokudera was restocking on his explosives. Not that he could tell her that. And Yamamoto was on a baseball trip. "Um…Gokudera's sick. Yamamoto's on a baseball excusion…"

Curious, she looked around. And then she figured it out. "You know, Yoshi, now that I think about it, Kurokawa and Sasagawa aren't here either…"

A bit late to notice, but nonetheless, Tsuna was screwed too. "Ah, they're at a choir excursion…"

She sighed, raising her palms to the heavens. Or to be more literal, the ceiling. "Of all days for the co-curricular faculties to have their stupid excursions, WHY TODAY?!"

* * *

Tsuna stood awkwardly on the doorstep and looked up, although he still couldn't see Reborn, who was sitting on his head. "Reborn, do I have to do this?"

This, referred to crashing Kaze's house so they could do the make-up assignment together. A second chance, as the teacher had put it.

"Of course you do," Reborn replied, reaching forward to ring the doorbell.

"But it's rude to just barge in…I mean…we didn't organise anything…and, well - "

Leon transformed into a gun.

Abruptly, Tsuna stopped talking. It was one thing to show up out of the blue asking for help on the group assignment, and something else entirely to show up yelling in boxers.

Kaze opened the door. "Can I he - " She stopped. And glared.

"Ciaossu," Reborn greeted, smiling. "Dame-Tsuna needed help with the assignment."

Immediately, she summed up that Reborn was the one in power. Her voice was dark. "How do you know my address?"

"The school," Reborn replied cheerfully.

A few seconds passed before Kaze broke her gaze from Reborn. "Yoshi. Is this guy genetically modified, or an adult cursed to look like an infant?"

"Uh….his name is R-Reborn," Tsuna stuttered. That seemed to be the only thing he was capable of saying.

"Wait here. I'll photocopy my part. And then you can leave," she decided on whim, shutting the door.

Tsuna let out a deep breath. "Alright Reborn, why are we here? Can we go now?!" he pleaded.

A long moment passed.

"That girl was beaten up fourteen days in a row by Hibari. And I want to know why."

* * *

Fuyumi looked sceptically at me as the inkjet printer slowly jotted out each page. "So you're telling me, that this classmate of yours is standing on your doorstep, and you're not going to invite him in?"

"Of course not," I snapped. "He's barely a step away from a stranger. And my Mum's going to be _so _pissed if she finds out."

"She's out for at _least _six more hours," he reasoned, picking up the pile of printed sheets and straightening them. "Live a little." But nonetheless, he got up and followed me to the door.

I rolled my eyes before I opened the door. "Well, my answers. And if you don't mind, please, never come to this residence a- "

There was a slight sound as the sheets fluttered to the ground. Yumi was rigid, staring at….Reborn, was it?

"Oi dude, are you okay?" I murmured, shaking his arm.

Silence.

Gathering the sheets, I shoved them in Tsuna's hand. "Yoshi. Please. Leave. And never come back." I slammed the door in their faces. Turning to Yumi, I snapped my fingers in front of his face. "Yo?"

He recovered. "They're dangerous," he stated hoarsely.

"What?"

"Stay away from them. Especially that baby."

"…Care to tell me why?"

"They're ma - " He stopped suddenly, rethinking. "Just do it!"

I took a step back. It was rare to see Yumi lose his cool. "Fine. Whatever you say."

He nodded and forced a smile. "Alright. Let's continue that episode yeah?"

"Sure…"

Ma. Mathematicians? Martyrs? Mafia? Martians? Masters? They all seemed ridiculous. What was Yumi so afraid of?

* * *

Fuck you, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Turning up at my doorstep claiming to do a group assignment. And then you don't even show. To make matters worse, neither Gokudera or Yamamoto were there, so it wasn't like I could take my anger out on them either.

F. My first F. Never in my life, had I gotten an F for an assignment.

Well, until now, that is.

As soon as the morning break bell went, I stormed out of the classroom and headed straight for the roof. Maybe I'd be able to find that fluffy yellow bird and rant to it again.

Bursting into the sunlight, I squinted.

Was it just me, or did this place take a _lot _of damage?

It looked like some crazy horse had barged through the place, wreaking havoc. The walls were reinforced concrete, but they were cracked and chipped. Debris was strewn all over the floor. Maybe there had been an earthquake when I was  
asleep? Nah, that was impossible. It would've been on the news.

And then, I realised I wasn't alone.

The blond hair of the stranger looked by far, too natural. A foreigner, then. He seemed panicked. "Romaio. Didn't Kyoya say that students weren't allowed to come on the roof?"

I blnked. And turned for the door. But I cursed. There was a guy in a black suit, standing there. Romario, I assumed.

"I don't think students pay attention to the rules," he stated, staring at me through his glasses.

Now. Think about it from my perspective.

There is a stranger. On the roof. Of your school. And you are _alone_. With this stranger. But wait – there's more! The roof has seen some sort of a natural disaster, and the stranger seems to have a suspicious looking henchman. Who is blocking the doorway.

There's only one explanation. Kidnapper.

"Kidnapper! Kidnapper on the roof!" I called out to no one in particular, suppressing a yawn. "Call 911. Get the fire brigade. On second thoughts, where's Hibari? Disciplinary committee? Hellooooooo?"

The stranger forced himself to calm down. "Ah, sorry, did I scare you? I'm sorry. Let's make up," the guy grinned walking forward and holding out a hand.

"Boss, I think she was being sarcastic," the evil henchman muttered.

"Oh…uh….well…."

Awkward.

I decided leaving him there with a handshake would give him muscle pains at a later date, and I figured that the stranger had no chance of kidnapping me without being seen.

So I stepped up to him and punched him.

The guy wasn't all that affected, but he reeled back all the same. "Why on earth is everyone so _violent_ in this school? I bet it's Kyoya. Kyoya probably brainwashed them all…"

"Boss, I don't think that's likely."

"Consider it Romario – there's Gokudera, Yamamoto, Tsuna and now _Kyoya _- "

"You kidnapped Goku, Takeshi and Yoshi?" I cut in, cracking my knuckles. "Pass this on for me, will you?"

I punched the stranger three times. For some reason, he didn't strike back. Wimpy kidnapper, really.

"Itai! Seriously, kid, that's not nice. Where the _hell _is Kyoya?"

Kyoya this, Kyoya that. "I'm sorry, but who the FUCK is this Kyoya? Is he your partner in crime?"

The door behind us swung open, and a familiar threat drawled out. "I'll bite you to death."

The blond stranger blinked, clueless at me. "Isn't that Kyoya right behind you? Hibari Kyoya? The Disciplinary Committee leader?"

Oh. So that was his first name. One mystery solved.

_Now, what is he doing with a kidnapper? Mystery still unsolved._

Hibari glared. "You. The one from last night. Return to class immediately."

"It's recess," I spat back.

"The roof is out of bounds."

"Says the guy who's always napping on the roof. Setting a great example there, _Kyoya_."

And out came the tonfas.

Another mystery. Where the hell did the guy store his tonfas?

But the stranger cut in before he could 'bite me to death'...once again. "Now now, you guys are arguing like an old married couple. Grow up!"

In unison, we glared at the blond stranger.

"I'll bite you to death."

"I'll call the cops."

"..."

* * *

**R&R? Since I wrote quite a bit of this chapter, I figure they'll be mistakes. And uh...ideas, constructive criticism, etc. etc.**

**Anyways, have a nice Christmas guys :D**


	5. You're An Irrevelation

**yo**

**it has been...a while.**

**i swear this story is dying. epically. its terrible. i have never written something so awful. actually i probably have.**

**I don't own KHR**

* * *

**Chapter 5 - You're an Irrevelation**

I'll be honest with you. I'm a very selfish person. I don't care much about the well being of others, because others don't really give jackshit about me.

But for some reason, as of the moment, I felt...like something was missing. It was kinda like the feeling you get when you...didn't do something that you could have done. Almost a guilty feeling. But I don't feel guilt. So I wouldn't know.

School is boring. That's a fact. It's well accepted, and a tragedy. I used to go to school because I was forced to by my mother, and by others to have an 'education' and make lots of money. But lately...Yumi had commented that there was a 'glow in my aura' when I went to school. And I could only think of one reason.

Hibari.

Don't misunderstand - I have none of those mushy feelings for him whatsoever. He's obnoxious, stupid, and has that herbivore/carnivore hierarchy complex.

Maybe he was the first person to really notice me? Was that it?

That wasn't totally right. Yumi noticed me. Tsuna and his friends did too.

Then what was it? What was it about Hibari Kyoya that kept me going back to Namimori Middle? Why did I put that tiny bit more effort into providing my prescence (an unnoticed prescence which kind of made the effort a tad bit pointless, but no matter) at school?

Then it hit me.

Today was Friday.

No wait, that's irrelevant.

But if today is Friday, then that means Hibari has been absent from school for eight days.

That also still has no relevance.

That revelation was an irrelevant revelation to my previous more relevant revelation...a relevant revelation to a certain specific irrelevant revelation that had become so relevant that it was all I could do to not think of such relevant and yet at the same time irrelevant revelations.

"Um...Kaze-san, what's revelant?"

I frowned at the guy who sat next to me. I said that out loud? Mah bad. "It's a relevant revelation. What the hell is revelant?"

He cringed, but I kept my straight face. Learning is meant to be tough, after all.

I tried to appear more sophisticated. "It's relevant. Not revelant. Think elephant. So that would make it...relephant. Got it? Now you won't get mixed up between relevant and revelation. Yah?"

He gave me a disbelieving face.

I sighed. I couldn't take it. Slamming my palms loudly onto my desk, I got up from my chair.

The teacher who had just put his books down on the desk frowned. "Kami-kun! What on earth do you think you're doing? Class has started! Sit back down!"

"I think I have a stomach ache. I'm going to the infirmary," I said calmly as I walked out the door, displaying no signs whatsoever of experiencing any form of physical pain.

If I sat there any longer I would've screamed. So that counts, right?

Let's see...the disciplinary committee. They had to know where the guy was, right? I kicked open the door to the reception room.

Approximately twenty guys with pompadours stared back.

Awkward.

I stared at those lumps of black that hang over their heads in a manner that completely defied gravity.

"Whoa…your hair seems so un-aerodynamic when you stand up straight like that. Considering that you're standing straight, perpendicular to the ground. But maybe if you ran, at a…30 degree angle to the ground, it seems like it would be great at increasing your acceleration. If you take your mass and multiply it by the acceleration of gravity which would probably be around 9.8 metres per second squared, it would give you your weight force."

They stared at me.

"…your weight force. Divide that by your mass and your get your acceleration…Don't you pay attention in class? Do you guys even go to class?"

The lead pompadour blinked. Slowly. Kusakube, was it? "Can I...help you...?"

"No. I came here for fun." I deadpanned at him. "Is Kyoya here?" then I realised my mistake. "Hibari! Is Hibari here?"

"Hibari-san? Uh...he's on vacation..."

"Yeah, because a guy who is obsessed with this god-forsaken school would totally go on a holiday _away_ from this school during a _school term_."

"Yes, I believe so."

"No shit man, that was sarcasm."

"…Oh. Uh...do you want to join the disciplinary committee or something...?"

"Hell no. I won't even get paid. So N-O."

"Do you want his cell number then...?"

"The fuck would I waste my precious credit on some shit like him?

The guy went silent. So did the whole room. Actually the rest of the room weren't making much noise in the first place. It was mainly just stareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .

Yeap. Awkward.

I decided it would be wise to make by grand exit right about now. "Okay, then. Ahem. Thank you oh-so-very-much for your _wonderful _help. I believe I shall take my leave now."

Then I swept out of the room with a dramatic slam of the door on my way out.

* * *

"Shut up, I'm working on it." I shoved a random bobby pin or two into the lock and jerked it around as some sort of a makeshift pick.

"…Uh…since I probably know how to actually pick a lock, you want me to do it?" Yumi sighed, most likely quite sick of my many failed attempts thus far.

"Nah, it's cool. I wanna try myself."

"Let me tell you, you're failing."

"It's never too late to learn."

"Sure…but can't you 'learn' some other time when we're not _breaking into your disciplinary committee prefect's office_? In. Your. _School_?!"

"Where's the fun in that?" I could see Yumi grabbing his hair in exasperation, turning up to the sky (more like ceiling), mentally asking God how he got dragged into this.

The poor guy.

For some reason Yumi seemed so tense these days. Cold even. Sometimes when I told him about school and occasionally about Tsuna, Yumi would randomly narrow his eyes and stiffly jerk his head away…

Eh. I blame puberty.

But that sort of doesn't make sense considering he's four five years older than me…so he should be past all that. Ah well.

"Aha!" I triumphantly pulled open the cabinet draw to reveal…stuff.

How anticlimactic. I was kind of hoping for things like every little dirty secret that Hibari could've ever hidden. Like…his tragic past….and secret AB blood….and….stuff.

Sighing, Yumi took the lock picks from me and starting unlocking all the other shit in the room. I followed and rifled through some student records. They were mainly of delinquents. How boring.

"Well, apparently he wears a size 14 shirt," Yumi called out.

I let out a deep breath. "Yumi, I don't give a jackshit about what size clothing he wears. If he's not a size 20 or over, it's not really dirt."

"But there's a skirt here too….?"

"Probably confiscated."

"And I think there's a whip here too…."

"That belongs to his blond buddy. The kidnapper dude. Yeah right he was a cop," I scoffed, noticing that he was a neat freak.

Suddenly a loud noise and some thumping resounded around the room. I looked up and turned to Yumi who had also stopped in tracks.

"Gee, someone's being inconsiderate upstairs. I think it's the janitor."

"But we saw the janitor go home…."

"If _you're_ so worried, why don't _you_ go check it out, eh?"

Yumi gave me a condescending look.

* * *

"Seriously bro, I swear I specifically emphasised the 'you'. The fuck am I doing here?" I stomped sulkily ahead Yumi as he walked down the corridor, sighing. What a moody guy.

"Your school may or may not have blown up and you don't give a shit?"

I swivelled around to face him and started walking backwards. "Why should I?"

He suddenly perked up and quickened his pace. "Wait. I hear voices around the corner, let's check it out."

"What? Hell no. Voices mean people. People are troublesome."

"I'm checking it out."

"Aw, c'mon, seriously…?"

And so we went. I, unfortunately, was dragged….well, pushed along. Not pleasant.

Still backwards, the voices grew louder, but I still wasn't screwed to face the right way round. "Say Yumi, do you think I'm antisocial?"

"Yes. Very…shit!" His eyes widened.

"You think my social skills are _shit_?! I feel so cut!"

And then I bumped into something. Some long strands floated past my eyes. It smelt like…strawberries. "Hey, _shinyyyyyyy_! What's this from?" I yanked the strand. And it turned out to be some angry girl's hair. Whoops. Mah bad.

"VOI! You trash!"

Why the girl had a sword strapped to her hand and glared at Yumi was beyond me – I was clearly the one who'd walked into him.

"Kaze! Get away from him!" Yumi yelled, drawing out a gun.

"Huh? Where'd the gun come from?" I muttered.

The girl with the sword seemed to notice me for the first time. "VOI! How did you get there? Are you an illusionist?" And thus, I found myself in a chokehold with a sword to my neck. _Where did the sword come from? _I looked at the girl's face. And I was like 'holy shit man that's fugly'. OH. Turns out it was a guy with long hair.

"DO YOU WANT TO SEE A CHILD DIE?!" he suddenly started spitting out. Huh…? Did I miss something?

"No I don't want to see a fricking child die. Oh wait, you mean me? Eh, in that case, I don't really mind," I passed off, trying to find a casual stance, but struggling to stand properly. Isn't there a more comfortable way of strangling someone so they actually have sure footing, my god? "If it makes you happy then sure go ahead. But see, the thing is, this shirt is a limited edition Batman collectible...and blood is hard to wash out..."

"Hiiieee! Kaze-san! What are you doing?"

I squinted. Yoshi? And I thought I was the blind one. Now that I think about it, I never mentioned it. I used to wear glasses. Right up until the day Hibari destroyed them a few months prior. "Well, I'm just standing here. Clearly." Was that...Takeshi and Goku behind him? Gah, I could hear Takeshi laughing. "Yumi! You got anythin' to say? Any last words?"

"Don't say that Kaze," he said through gritted teeth. "Superbi Squalo. She has no part in this."

"VOI! You're not going to run away with your tail between your legs this time," the long haired guy growled. "I'm gonna gut you properly this time!"

"Aw, so the two of you have a history. How sweet," I drawled, feeling my neck go stiff. "Go get a room!"

"VOI, KID, WHAT THE FAQ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

I feel so cut. No one listens to what I say. Even Tsuna and them were discussing something.

And then a Random Guy 1 ran up to Random Guy 2 – the one with a moustache and umbrellas- that seemed to be in the same random thing as Random Girly and spouted a bunch of random crap. Random Guy 1 left and then...

Hang on a minute. _Why is Yoshi here?_

And as I was pondering this thought…

Hibari arrived.

He scanned the scene and glared. "For trespassing on school grounds...and the destruction of school property –"

There are people with bloody swords and explosives, and trespassing is the only thing you can think about. And that tone – it was like we killed his grandmother or something. Gawd. Lame.

"- you are all jointly guilty, and I will bite you all to death."

Silence. Well, Yoshi did a double take.

A pink haired lady I didn't really notice came up from the side and asked Hibari about a ring. Man, did she have an awesome sense of style. Except for the hair colour. Ick.

Wait, ring. As in an engagement ring? Or like a phone ringing? Maybe...a circus ring? Ugh. Too complicated.

Random Guy 2 (umbrella guy) stormed forward. "How dare you attack my subordinates?"

And Hibari just sidestepped him. I almost felt sorry for Random Guy 2. Two weeks ago, Hibari perfected that move on me. "Shall I bite you to death first?"

On the side the guy who was currently holding me captive discussed Hibari's move. I felt that they would've been able to write a great essay – with the amount of shit they got from Hibari's small move.

Yumi seemed to be unsure of who to shoot. I wondered if his gun was even loaded.

"VOI! You! How many pieces do you want to be cut into?" the long haired guy yelled. Those few minutes beside him did more damage than all the music I'd ever listened to on full blast.

Hibari seemed to look in my direction. We made eye contact. And he smirked. "So you're next?"

"No I am not next!" I retorted. "I didn't even break any school rules! Well, maybe trespassing and violation of privacy, but hey, who gives the shit about that?"

Yoshi looked like he was trying to rip his hair out.

And Hibari charged. I actually said a quick prayer. Something among the lines of 'if I don't die, I'll never laugh at people because of their appearance. Except for Hibari'. And the long haired guy pushed me in front of him as, well, a meat shield. Hibari's tonfa curved to my face.

The next bit I didn't quite catch.

Takeshi...stepped behind him and grabbed his tonfa from behind...and then Hibari forgot completely about me and turned to Takeshi.

Sigh. So people really don't give a shit about me.

The baby, Reborn, hopped onto my head. I felt like if I pushed him off, he'd rip off both my arms. Oh well. Reborn spouted something about missing out on fun.

And then Hibari whacked me in the head. HEAD. MY INTELLIGENCE. I put a hand on a wall to stabilize myself. Reborn conveniently hopped off. Well...at least that meant he didn't forget about me.

He glared at me. His face just said 'herbivore'. "So long as all damages to the school will be paid for."

* * *

"So, Yumi, yakuza?" Kaze asked casually. "Which gang you with?"

Fuyumi didn't like talking about his involvement in crime. It may've been his job, but that didn't mean he was proud of it. Maybe he could still act innocent? "What makes you think that?"

"Well, every second night you're working somewhere. Your Dad seems to know a lot about dangerous people but he's not with the police. You have a gun. Goku worships Yoshi so much and has dynamite, so I think they're in some criminal organization. The way those Random Guys were talking – well, they're professionals at whatever they do, and I 'm pretty sure it crashes with the law," she finished. "To be honest, I've given it a lot of thought. But after tonight, all scraps of doubt are gone." Walking side by side, Yumi sighed. "About me and the mafia..."

"Hm? Well, nothing surprises me anymore. I don't really care..." Kaze replied slowly, careful to shoot him a casual look.

"Oh. That's great. I mean..."

Awkward. There were way too many awkward moments today. Time to change the subject.

"So...this Hibari fellow...how did you two meet?" Yumi asked suspiciously. Dangerous as he was, he certainly hadn't been expecting the guy to attempt to save Kaze without a moment's hesitation. Or at least, that was what it had looked like.

Kaze sighed and stopped walking. "To be honest, on my first day, we both happened to be walking towards each other in a corridor and -"

"- your eyes met and you both looked deeply into each other's eyes?" Yumi continued, his words becoming more and more emphasized.

"...The fuck no. We had a fight."

"So soon? What was it about? Let me guess...he was cheating on you?"

Kaze facepalmed. "Anyways, we continued -"

"Seeing each other? Like a date? Even though he was cheating on you?"

"Yumi! I just meet the damn guy in the _corridor_, and you think he's _cheating_ on me. Then you think the two of us just totally go on dates and hold hands or something. What is wrong with you, man?! Get this in your head. WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER."

"...Never? I mean, you never had a deep meaningful exchange of words or anything?"

She threw her hands in the air. "Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada."

"Then why we're you searching through his desk and everything?"

"To get dirt on him and get revenge god damn it!"

"Really?" he asked skeptically. "K-chan, I'm not really an expert, but I've never seen half the faces you pull these days. Albeit some of them were verging on madness and sadism…And...well...Hibari stopped beating you up, right?"

She frowned. "But -"

"How do you feel about Hibari?"

"My blood pumps faster, and I find the urge to flex my fingers and glare."

"And how do you think he feels about you?"

"I dunno. A herbivore? Our longest conversation was like...a minute and thirty seconds. His longest sentence was like...eight words. I mean - His most common phrase is 'I'll bite you to death'. You gotta admit, that's lame." She finished her rant and took a deep breath.

"But how many times have you two met? Ten, twenty?" Yumi guessed.

Kaze scrunched up her face. "Twenty four...?"

Yumi felt triumphant. "You remember all those facts about the two of you, and you still don't think you have feelings for Hibari?"

"Well of course I have feelings. They're called hatred and dislike."

Yumi gave up.

* * *

**Yah.**

**the future will be like (quoted from the one and only awesomeo123)...wait bro. you didnt even finish the damn sentence. what is the future going to be like?**

**yeah, i dunno wat da bloody future will be like cos awesomeo didnt tell me.**


	6. You're Awkward

**Yo**

**Long time no upload**

**I think**

**To the reviewer who threatened to get Hibari to bite me to death: good job. It motivated me just that tiniest bit to finish this thing faster. Because having my oc's future lover bite me to death is just a bit awkward. Just a tiny bit.  
**  
**Thank you all those reviewers and favouriters and followers.**

**I do not own KHR**

**This is a collaboration with awesomeo123.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 - You're Awkward**

I was lost. Scratch that I knew where I was. I was just kind of…stuck.

Alone.

With _it_.

And we all know what _it_ is now, don't we.

So anyways, the morning had started off really well. I was having a pleasant stroll around Namimori since I wasn't in the mood to go to school. It was when I reached an intersection that I saw _it_, and quickly swivelled back the way I had come, suddenly remembering that I had something extremely important to do. Something like avoiding _it_.

The instant _it_ was out of sight, I breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that was at that moment that a passer-by decided to take my phone from my pocket. I was surprised at the very pleasant way in which they had done it too. I mean, they didn't even knock me down, bash me up, threaten me or anything. I stood there marvelling at how civil the thief was about it until it hit me.

HOLY SHIT SOMEONE JUST STOLE MY PHONE.

I started sprinting in the general direction in which I guessed the thief had gone. But alas, I did not catch the pickpocket. So for the rest of the day, I walked around town hoping by some chance I would perhaps stumble upon that fucking piece of shit who had so kindly stolen my phone.

Then _it_ appeared.

With tonfas flashing eyes blazing and however else a cliché person would describe the devil in human form.

"Why are you not in school?"

There was a silence.

Awkward.

I admit I was a tiny bit slow. Totally not my fault though. I don't think well in heat. Racking my brains, I struggled to find a legit answer that wasn't on the lines of 'school is complete shit'. Unfortunately, walking around for a whole day in the goddamn sun just doesn't seem to do the wonders for one's brain as I had originally hoped.

So instead -

I ran.

Fast.

But _it_ chased me.

And fuck _it_ was fast.

I saw an abandoned warehouse and ran under the door that was open by about half metre. _It_ came up to the door, whacked it up and stepped in. Just as it stepped through, the door slammed down and the sound reverberated throughout the empty building.

We both stared at the door.

And for that brief moment there was silence. Well, ignoring the echoes, there was silence. Actually, that's redundant.

Anyway, what I meant was that it was awkward.

And then _it_ gave a 'hn' and bashed me up.

Ain't life a bitch.

* * *

So…it's been a while now. And it's still bashing up the stupid door. It's a freaking garage type of door for crying out loud. Those ones where you _lift the door up_.

Gawd. What an idiot.

It suddenly turned around to glare at me.

…Eh? Did I say that aloud? No I'm pretty sure I was muttering it under my breath…

It suddenly started to advance.

Shit.

I tried the distraction technique. "Oh look. A pigeon."

*It continues to advance, undistracted*

…There was always a plan B. The logical explanation technique. "Well, I mean, it's ridiculous to beat down the unbeatable door; why don't you do something that might actually work like, oh, whacking me out the window," I drawled sarcastically.

*It continues to advance without logic*

Backing away, I gave up on trying to think of Hibari as an object, since objects don't really advance creepily with the complete intention on killing things that aren't objects. "That was…sarcasm…dumbass." The distance between us suddenly seemed very small.

And clearly, he did not approve of sarcasm. Oh wait, that could've been the name...

* * *

I slowly tried to get up - it hurt everywhere - and hobbled over to try and lift up the door. Damn, it was locked. Well, Hibari was still an idiot for beating up a _locked_ door. Well actually, it might have just been that I was in too much pain to move the fucking door.

No matter. There should be another way out, right? Looking around I noticed a door conveniently tucked in the far corner of the building. Sighing, I made my way to it. Seriously, at that moment I was tempted to just crawl.

Great. Turns out the door was locked too. Maybe the idiot's unnatural strength could be of use.

"Yo Hibari… knock down this door won't you?"

He turned.

"Because this has less resistance and a lower surface area - "

He advanced.

"- and this has weaker hinges and no real security measures..." I trailed off, staring innocently as his glare.

"Don't order me around, herbivore." And then proceeded to bash me up. Again.

I sighed. Geez. So touchy. And here I was trying to help us get out of here. Bastard.

* * *

Waking up I did a mental check.

Blood? Nope. Not yet, at least.

Broken bones? It sorta hurt everywhere, so I couldn't really tell, but there wasn't a specific place that seemed to scream out 'ASDFGHJK' to me so I guess not.

Bruises? Hell yeah. I could feel them forming already. Or maybe I was confusing that with the PAIN.

So overall it meant I was still alive. Damn.

I felt like the time had passed by rather slowly and so I checked my watch. Indeed I was correct. It was only six o'clock. I mean, I was technically meant to be home by four, but six is fine.

Now that I think about it, the time had passed by rather quickly. Considering I had been watching an idiot bash up the equivalent of a steel wall for about five hours now. Give or take.

Once again I slowly dragged myself to an upright position and trudged over to him.

Having lost many brain cells today and thus much of my intelligence, I tapped his shoulder. Knowing his impulsive weirdo behaviour (after being beaten up a shitload of times) helped me make the decision to duck immediately from a tonfa that was aimed for my face.

I blinked. OH MY GAWD. I DODGED AN ATTACK. I was so proud of myself I nearly didn't notice that in an attempt to hit me, Hibari had lashed out with full force. And not expecting to miss on someone who failed so badly at fighting, Hibari had not been prepared for the momentum. And that was probably why there was a suspicious tonfa mark on Hibari's face.

I stared.

He stared back.

Awkward.

Then I realised. He had just hit itself because I was able to dodge its attack.

Lol.

I burst out laughing and this time, was unable to dodge the tonfa that crashed into my head.

* * *

Sitting on the cold floor of the warehouse, leaning against a random pile of suspicious boxes, I tried to look at Hibari through the dim light. He was actually sitting down. The shock. I suppose bashing up a metal door and a weak girl, multiple times can get pretty tiring even for someone like him.

Anyways, we were sitting on the floor of the warehouse, quite a fair distance from each other.

In the dark.

In silence.

Only one word to describe it.

AWKWARD.

Then the moonlight broke through the clouds and through the building and I stared at him…only to find that he was staring right back at me.

AWKWA-

Okay, yeah. I broke eye contact and decided to try and break the silence too. Ah, this was such a song moment. _It's nine in the afternoon; your eyes are the size of the moon_ -

"What did you say?"

"Nothing?"

"You dare insult me?"

...Ah, did I say those lyrics aloud? Shit. "Well, uh, it's like, nine in the afternoon - "

"Evening."

"...afternoon. Lyrics, dude. The next line is 'your eyes are the size of the moon'."

"...It's stupid."

"You dare insult my song choices?" I mimicked sourly, looking away. "But it's logical. No matter where you look at the moon from, it'll always be smaller than your thumb." I closed one eye and lifted my thumb to the sky. Well, it was a hole in the ceiling, but I couldn't see the moon anymore since the clouds had gone over and covered it again.

I could feel his stare as I struggled to measure the non-existent moon against my thumb. "The relevance?" he prompted.

I turned to him, "Uh…" Honestly I had no idea what the fuck the relevance was. Geez, it was just a freaking conversation starter. "Well. Obviously, the moon's never bigger than the size of your thumb from anywhere in the world, and so's your eye." Probably.

His eyes became evil slits. "…Your eyes…are the size…of…the moon."

"…Yeah. Literally."

I saw a brief movement and suddenly felt something sharp hit my eye. "OW. DUDE. DID YOU JUST THROW A FRIGGIN' ROCK AT ME?! ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY THROW A SOLID SHARP OBJECT AT A PERSON'S EYE. IT IS A DELICATE, DELICATE BODY PART. NOT COOL MAN. NOT COOL."

"I find no reason to answer a herbivore like you."

Clutching my throbbing eye, I tried to glare at him. Combined with the fact that it was fairly dark and I was trying to see through a haze of pain and eyes streaming with tears, it failed.

And then, most likely to shut up my complaining, he followed his stupid animal instinct…and threw another rock at me. This one was much bigger.

Imagine my joy.

* * *

So, half an hour later, sporting a new range of bruises, I stared up at the cloud-covered sky.

"I'm hungry." I decided to say to break the silence. I think the last time I ate, was probably breakfast. Which consisted of a cup of milk. Because my mum thought it wouldn't be good of me to eat too much because I was too fat or something. Yeah well, I wasn't fragile like her at least.

"How simple-minded."

I blinked and swivelled my head in Hibari's direction. OMG HE REPLIED. Except I didn't know what he meant. "What do you mean?"

"You only think of food." I could hear a tone of disgust in his voice.

"What. No I don't. I want a motorbike. See? I don't only think of food."

As the moon broke through the clouds I saw a smirk on his face. "Hn. I have one."

"…WHAT. NO FAIR…Hang on, dude, I was being sarcastic, but…NO FAIR. HOW COME YOU HAVE A MOTORBIKE? YOU'RE ONLY, WHAT. 15 YEARS OLD?"

He narrowed his eyes. "16."

PFFT. I covered my mouth. "Whoa. You are _short_ for a 16 year old guy."

A rock came flying at my head.

"DUDE. WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE ROCKS FROM? THE HELL MAN."

Suddenly a barrage of rocks came pelting at me and I quickly covered my head with my arms. Angrily, I picked up the closest rock shaped thing I could see. Not surprisingly, it had blood on it.

I threw it. And missed.

Awkward.

Hibari smirked. I could see 'fail' written all over his face in invisible ink. Oh the bastard. In his head, he was probably thinking something like 'hn, she's such a pitiful creature, maybe I should bite her to death for her excess stupidity and complete lack of throwing skill'. Except I was pretty sure Hibari had never spoken a sentence that long in his _life_.

I cringed. I may've missed, but it probably like, made some sort of a dent. On the ceiling. Cough.

* * *

Man I was beat. This was a new record. Getting beaten up so many times in one day. Seriously I lost count.

"Y'know Hibari? What's with your complex for Namimori?"

"…"

"Does it have something to do with your carnivore/herbivore obsession?"

"…"

"I GOT IT. YOU LOVE YOUR TERRITORY."

"…"

"No no no. I got this. It's…your HABITAT. Yeah! That's totally it. You're a carnivore and so to be able to be in control of all the herbivores you patrol your habitat and look for any rebellious carnivores and stuff!"

Hibari's face had taken on a sort of constipated look.

I thought about his answer, and realised another thing. "Ne, Hibari, if you're a carnivore, does that mean you eat bugs too? Cos they're herbivores too. Ish. That's kinda gross though. And, if you bite all these herbivores to death, then do you chew too? Oh crap I'm starting to talk like you…all this herbivore carnivore crap..."

"…I'll bite you to death."

"Oh wait what? Come on…not again…" I braced myself for the onslaught of rocks.

* * *

Waking up to a loud banging I realised I had somehow fallen asleep. On the floor. Face down. Oh sorry, my bad. I hadn't fallen asleep. HIBARI KNOCKED ME OUT WITH A ROCK.

Sitting up and not very happy, I turned to find the fucking bastard.

"Hurry up." Oh look at that I'm-mightier-than-thou aura of his. Makes me want to kick him in the face…

I ignored him and looked around. "Hang on a minute… Gee Hibari. Look at that door over there. The one that I _just so happened to have asked you to bash down this morning_. I wonder what it's doing lying on the floor there, all mangled. Hm?"

He glared.

I raised my hands defensively in front of me. "Hey, I'm not implying anything. It's just _so_ convenient don't you think?"

He stepped forward and threateningly raised his tonfas.

"No no, relax bro. Feel free to leave. The door has already _oh-so-conveniently _been broken down for us."

There was silence as I waited for him to leave.

He didn't.

Awkward.

Confused, I stared at him. It was uncomfortable craning my neck upwards and I had that tingly feeling of being small. But I didn't have the energy to get up.

"Herbivores can't go home alone."

I blinked at him. "Eh, but people do it all the time mate..."

He gave an exasperated-ish 'hn'. "Move."

Contemplating whether or not staying on the floor would've been smart, I decided rock indents in my head were unhealthy and got up.

It was painful. But I managed.

Hibari seemed okay with the fact I was finally getting up and so strolled to the door. He didn't wait.

The bastard.

* * *

"Walk faster."

"Why?" I muttered, taking my steps carefully. And I'm not the one who friggin' threw a mountain of rocks.

"The katana herbivore has a match."

…Did he mean Takeshi? "Hey, I want to watch too!"

"No."

"You can't stop me."

*tonfa*

We walked down the street in a bit more silence. Up ahead, there were quick footsteps by the intersection, but we ignored it. Well, until it turned out the guy who was walking past was Yumi.

Oh man.

But it was alright. Yumi didn't seem to notice me or Hibari. He just walked right past. I breathed a sigh of relief.

And then he doubled back. "K-chan! What the hell are you doing? Where have you been?! Your Mum's been all hysterical - " And then he noticed Hibari.

Now this was awkward.

Yumi, being the unnecessarily overly protective brother type, grabbed my wrist, and dragged me towards him. "Kaze, get away from him, I've told you before," he hissed.

I murmured something under my breath, but before I could say something further, I felt a tug on my other arm.

I should correct myself. Because this was waaaay beyond awkward.

You see, there's awkward.

Then there's swearing in front of your mother awkward.

Then ten levels of awkward _above_ that, was what I currently was going through.

Being stuck between Hibari and Yumi.

At night.

In the middle of the street.

_Did I mention I was being pulled in two by the arms like a rag doll?!_

Yeah. This was great.

I mean sure, I was totally fine with Yumi being all macho and protective. Putting distance between me and the mentally impaired guy was great.

If only the mentally impaired one hadn't grabbed my other arm and tried to pull me back.

Yeah. I was having a swell time.

But whilst arguing with Yumi that I actually wanted to watch Takeshi's match (swords are shiny, after all), I made up my mind.

"Well, since you're all having this ecstatic time, WHY DON'T WE - "

* * *

_The school roof..._

It was actually pretty nice. Sitting on the roof of the school next to Hibari, watching as Takeshi got beat up by the long haired guy.

Hibari wasn't trying to bash me up for once, and the night air was clean and fresh.

Sort of calming even.

There was a gentle breeze. A zephyr I think.

I kind of liked sitting next to Hibari. He didn't talk, he didn't breathe annoyingly, he didn't show any excess emotion.

It was like...he wasn't there. Which was the best part.

Oh. Fuck. I never got my phone back.

And during this wonderful moment/experience/revelation, Yumi glared and scowled at us from the corner. The entire time.

Awkward.

* * *

**You guys should listen to Panic at the Disco.  
**  
**It's a really good band. Me and my friend are going through a phase. She's a bit more into it than me. A lot more fangirling too. Awesomeo123 likes it too. I think.  
**  
**Yeah it's good. Well. At least I think so. Nine in the afternoon is one of their songs btw.**

This was an awkward chapter.

**Yeah I think that's all for now.**

**Until next time.  
**  
**And do you guys have anything specific you want to see in this story? ****Awesomeo123 says the reason no one asks me about the storyline is because it's legit. No plotholes or illogical shit and stuff. Is that true? ****Cos then we'll keep it up...**


	7. You're Unhelpfully Helpful

**YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT SHOULD BE GRATEFUL IM UPDATING THIS TWO AND A HALF HOURS BEFORE MY FRIGGIN ENGLISH HALF-YEARLY EXAM. WHICH I AM GOING TO FUCKING FAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.**

**AWESOMEO123 HAS LEFT TO MY TO HYPERVENTILATE BY MYSELF WHILST SHE GOES AND DOES HER ELECTIVE HISTORY EXAM.**

**AND INSTEAD OF CRAMMING MY HEAD OFF I AM SITTING HERE TYPING THIS TRASH UP.**

**ASDFGHJKL**

**FUCK LIFE.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: You're unhelpfully helpful**

I'm a genius.

When my mother was all bitchy about me getting home late (seriously, eight hours is like, what, 1/86700 moments of one's life, not including leap years. It's totally not a big deal), I got grounded. Not that I went out much in the first place. And her threat?

Tutoring. Which meant less Yumi time.

So, being the genius I was, I decided, on the third day of being grounded, that I would stay at school.

Not generally the idea when someone wants to rebel, but it works.

And plus, those weirdo fights that Yoshi had been involved with seemed to be over since he came to school. Didn't see Takeshi or Goku though. I wondered if they died.

"Alright! You! Get in that empty seat!" the teacher yelled out at some idiot who had been talking about inappropriate things.

Looking at my pen blankly, I was thinking of the best places to avoid Hibari when the kid who was yelled at SAT ON ME.

THE FUCK.

"Do you goddamn mind?!" I hissed, shoving him onto the floor.

The whole class stared at me. The teacher had a confused expression, "Kami-kun, where did you come from?"

"…I was here the whole time…"

He didn't seem convinced.

Oddly, a similar thing happened in P.E.

The class was being split into teams and as usual, I wasn't in the first bunch to be picked. That - I was used to. Then it was just me and Yoshi left. Insulting. There was even this girl who a broken arm who was chosen before me. Unbelievably insulting.

"Alright, who wants Sawada this time?"

I was considered...less of an option...than Yoshi?

That, was just insulting. On so many more levels.

"Uh, everyone…Kaze-san…is here too…?" I stared at Yoshi. And everyone turned to stare at me. Then they all went 'oh, right' and started arguing about why I should be on their team.

_People these days._

* * *

It wasn't particularly late, but all the students had definitely gone home. Hiding in the bathroom, I was washing my face when I heard the door swing open.

Nobody. Move. A. Muscle.

It was the janitor. I just stood there, waiting for a torrent of words, but he just went in, checked the stalls were empty and started cleaning.

…Suspicious. This was taking my slight lack of presence to a whole new level. Maybe the janitor had bad eyesight, and since I was standing in the far corner…

"What are you doing? What am I doing? You are cleaning. I am cleaning."

…So the janitor was practicing his English. And talking to himself. Seems legit, no?

When the coast was clear, I headed to the gym. I was pretty sureI had forgotten my sport clothes in the locker room.

Walking through the hallway, there was a pair of pink haired females coming my way. They were cautiously looking around the place, checking for something. Looking slightly suspicious black masks looked so _awesome_. I really wanted one.

As we crossed paths, I turned to them, "Hey! You guys! I really like your stuff!"

They walked right past me without a glance.

…I felt so cut.

Slightly offended, I made my way to the gym. And there, I found…a pole. Well, I thought it was a pole. But 'pole' usually implies one lone stick thing. But there were four poles. One on the inside being supported by three thinner ones on the at the top, there was this platform thing.

I decided to climb it.

I got about halfway up before getting stuck. Yeah…whoops. Should've thought of that before I climbed the pole. Hugging one of the outer support poles, the gym doors opened and the sound of footsteps echoed through the building.

Oh crap, it was one of those weirdo people from the other day, a…baby…? With a hoodie. The hoodie looked really cool too.

Oh shit. OH SHIT. If they were there, then…the whole battle thing wasn't _over _yet? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Still trying to get into a more comfortable position, I tried to see who else was in the building. There was a skinny girl with weird hair (pineapples were apparently in season) and a stick thing.

_What the hell was she wearing?!_

It was a horrible shade of green. Olive, probably. I honestly couldn't tell.

Whilst trying to figure out what colour the clothes were, both the baby and the girl collapsed onto the floor. Then they kinda started spazzing.

…_Harlem shake_.._?_

They didn't notice me, the weirdo girl stuck up a pole tower. The joy. I could have used a little help.

They looked like they needed help too, but being stuck halfway up a weirdo pole thing, I didn't exactly have a hand to give them. Literally and figuratively.

In the midst of contemplating my misfortune, the roof exploded. The baby on the gym floor cried out, "B-boss! You almost hit me…"

As the dust cleared, I looked up. There was a lovely view of some guy with spiky hair, weird hair ornaments - that suspiciously looked like feathers and raccoon tails - and guns that were on fire.

He was also flying. In the sky. Grinning like a maniac. BATMAN. No.

_Oh look, there's Yoshi_.

At least I thought it was Yoshi. I wasn't completely sure though, 'cause the Yoshi-look-alike had orange eyes, a fire on his forehead and was twenty metres in the sky. Very hot-bishie-like.

Last time I checked, Yoshi couldn't fly. But then again, last time I checked, Yoshi wasn't mafia.

Wondering what the hell was going on, I slowly pulled myself up onto the flat platform thing at the top of the pole tower.

There was a ring on it.

I tried it on, and surprisingly, the thing fit pretty nicely. And it was really shiny. But it looked kind of weird. There was a picture of an oyster/clam/shellfish thing in the middle and what looked like mist underneath. Was this the fashion craze nowadays?

_Man, I'm behind the times._

There was another explosion, and considering half the roof was demolished, I saw quite a lot of what was happening outside.

Imagine my surprise when there was this gigantic screen in the middle of the school. With a clear view of what was happening. How convenient.

Apparently Yoshi was fighting the raccoon tail guy…on the side of the left wing building. Does gravity not apply to people anymore?

I thought the raccoon guy looked pretty badass but then he shot...stuff in some direction screaming out: "Have some charity!"

Aw, isn't that so nice, he's just _shy_. Deep down he was really nice person and was too embarrassed to show that he cares for those ugly people in his…friendship group.

_He totally just ruined his reputation._

The big screen suddenly gave a close-up shot of raccoon tail guy's laughing face. I blanched.

Then shit happened and before I knew it, Hibari had his screen time too. A close up. Of his fugly face. AND WHAT THE FUCK, WHY WAS HIS SHIRT OPEN SO MUCH LIKE THAT. EW. Reborn's voice came over the speaker saying something about how Hibari was a cloud.

_…?_

In what way was Hibari like a cloud? Clouds were white and soft and fluffy and pretty, whilst Hibari was…not.

Then Goku came on screen. Hair blowing in his face, glare at maximum intensity, bombs at the ready. All in all, it looked pretty cool. But I wasn't going to tell him that. Who knows what that would do for his ego.

And Reborn said something about storms and the rest pretty much blew over my head. Honestly it was starting to sound like a weather report. I could just hear the reporter's voice in my head.

Today we'll be having some morning mist, light rain right before storms. In the afternoon, there'll be a shitload of clouds, and the sun should be out for sunset. The sky should be quite nice tonight.

And in that baby's code language: Today we'll be having some morning Chrome, light Takeshi right before Gokus. In the afternoon, there'll be a shitload of Hibaris, and Ryohei should be out for sunset. The Yoshi should be quite nice tonight.

_Yeah…no thanks. _

Continuing on, it turned out that Goku was fighting the ugly guy with umbrellas. The umbrellas came out, Goku blew 'em up and the only word I caught through the 'boom' noises was…parabola. Teachers weren't kidding when they said maths will always be a part of your life.

Yawn.

_Well, I'll just stay here on this pole, then. Not like I have a choice._

* * *

The feeling of my stomach falling woke me up and I landed on something…not-concrete.

Something shiny caught my eye and I reached for it. It was a tiara. A very shiny one at that. Chucking it over my shoulder, I tried to see what I had fallen on. There were nice white boots, soft hair, a long fringe, nice skin and a slim figure. A fragile girl then.

"Get off me you peasant!"

Frowning at the low voice I slowly sat back on my heels.

Oh. It was a guy. Mah bad.

Assuming that he was from the team trying to beat the shit out of Tsuna, I scrambled up to my feet and tried to run/kick/bash/punch, but the guy grabbed my arm, painfully twisting it behind my back.

Man, I was so screwed.

* * *

"Seriously this is so uncomfortable." The ropes rubbed against my wrists, and I swear I had rope burn. My arms were tied above my head in what I believe was the most awkwardly uncomfortable position possible. The girl with the stick was tied up too. She had an eyepatch. With a skull thing pattern. Goku and her would get along nicely with the gothic emo taste of theirs.

I never understood why it was called emo. Doesn't emo stand for emotional? Like, that's totally redundant.

The doors burst open and I turned to see Takeshi and Goku come storming in. Oh the joy. I revel in being the damsel in distress. All of a sudden they started talking to the opposite wall.

I was extremely confused.

Because on the other side of the room. There was a mirror replica of me.

What. The. Hell.

But I thought about it. Something was off. The voice? The face?

No, those were perfect.

_Oh, I got it. The replica was too clear. I have bad eyesight. So hell, what the fuck isn't it blurry? It had to be fake. A mirage or something. _

Takeshi and Goku started talking, but I couldn't make out their words. For some reason, Takeshi kicked his sword. It was a beautiful notion, I might admit. All full of grace and elegance and whatnot.

"OI. Don't talk to yourselves," I called out. "If you're going to help, help the right people, dumbasses."

The baby glared at me. "You…"

"Yes. Me," I muttered. "Let me go, yeah?"

Then the roof exploded.

Again.

Actually, it was more like the whole building collapsed. Well, crumbled. Into a million pieces. Yay. I never like the gym anyway. Who needs sport?

* * *

You'd be surprised how hard it is to get out from under a pile of rubble. I was trying to push myself upwards with heavy rocks crushing me from above. Let me tell you, it doesn't work.

_Let's change tactics then, maybe pushing randomly against the rocks above might work. _

Not really being able to see jackshit really didn't help. Then suddenly, I SAW THE LIGHT and stretched my hand out into the open…and it got stuck. I felt like a zombie. I hear it's all the rage now, but really, this just wasn't the right time y'know? The explosions in the distance made me feel all the more like I was in a freaking video game.

Then, something warm grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the debris. I totally would have preferred staying down there because _my god that hurt_. Like seriously, pulling someone out from under rocks by their hand? What are you trying to do? Dislocate their shoulder?

Slumping down onto flat ground, I painfully rubbed my shoulder and looked up at the offender who had tried to rob me of my arm.

I got a faceful of just eye-blinding shiny teeth.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~…Mammon, remind me why we need this peasant?"

"Because I'm special," I interrupted. "I can wear that tiara better than you any day of the year."

The corner of his mouth twitched. "~Ushi shi shi shi~…care to repeat that, _peasant_?"

"Do you have down syndrome? You know, when you have an extra chromosome?"

Knives appeared in his hands. Very original design. He was so fast – I didn't even see the process of coming out from…wherever. They just appeared.

It was pretty crash.

"~Ushi shi shi shi~…now you _die, _peasant."

Peasant this, peasant that. And I thought I was self-centred.

"Don't Bel. Where's the mist ring?" the baby interrupted.

Um. Really shiny ring with shellfish and mist? No, heck, I haven't seen it anywhere. But since I couldn't really hide my hands behind my back, Bel saw it.

After that, I kind of blanked out. I mean, really, being tied up really isn't as fun as it sounds. It's not terrifying. It's not dramatic. It's fucking boring.

Then I heard a familiar voice. _… how can YUMI be HERE? _

And his voice sounded far away…and yet really close at the same time. Weird.

Where was it coming from? Both the wannabe prince and the goth baby were wearing some kind of watch thing. And as they wrestled each other, the screen faced me for a moment, and I could just make out a tuft of fluffy black hair and the occasional flash of blue that could only be his eyes.

Lunging forward with my bound hands, I grabbed onto the blonde's arm. "YUMI?"

I was so confused. Yumi. Was. In. A. Cage. Thing.

Da faq.

* * *

Horror.

K-CHAN. WAS. WITH. THE. VARIA.

WHY.

Fuyumi could only stare at the screen and curse. His slight moment of distraction allowed two Cervello females who were chasing him to catch up.

"We cannot allow you to interfere with the Sky Battle."

"Please leave."

He glared. "I have no idea what the _hell_is going on, but that girl there, Kami Kaze, is not part of it. Get her out of there!" Beside him, the people in the cage stared. Dangerous people. Were they spectators of the battle?

"That is not possible."

_ "Oi, you piece of shit, don't touch me!"_ On the screen, Bel pushed KK back. _"Mammon! Why exactly can't I kill her?!"_

The baby floated down, level with her. _"Because she's just some normal brat."_

_"Exactly. We can just kill her."_

_"She saw through my illusions Bel. After this, I'll make her spill her secrets."_

Fuyumi had to focus on the matters he had to deal with. "Then what the fuck is an ordinary person doing in the middle of your 'oh-so-geniusly' set up battle?!" he yelled. "She has nothing to do with this!"

"It is too late to interfere. The match will continue."

"This - "

One of the babies in the cage interrupted. Fuyumi frowned. The Arcobaleno Reborn. "Oi, you can either shut up and watch, or leave."

"I'm not leaving without K-chan!"

"Then watch."

"Watch? Watch her die, you mean?!"

"Wait, where is she Reborn?" Dino murmured. "She was right there…"

They turned back to the screen. Bel had reached out for her arm, as a gesture, but missed. Completely. _"Where the hell is she?"_

* * *

"Where the hell is she?"

I waved, ten or so meters away, leaning on the school building. Well, I was still tied up. "No no, don't let me interrupt your life story, I'll just stand here and watch." Who cares if blood isn't flowing to my hands right? Pfft, who needs blood. Cough.

Bel walked over, and dragged me by the hair. I kind of just let him. You know, did nothing. "We're going, peasant. Get on your feet."

"Nah. I don't wanna. I'm tired."

He looked on the verge of having steam blow out of his ears.

* * *

You know, when a guy with really girly features and a really girly name drags you out to the middle of nowhere and just leaves you in the dirt, you just know he's a gentlemen.

And when he ties up your arms and legs, restricting your movements, man, you just know this guy is a freaking knight in shining white armour.

…Yeah, no.

Well, at least I was on my back, gazing up at the night sky. How uncomfortable would it have been if he'd left me on my stomach face-planting me in the dirt? So as I lay there, I could hear a lot of screaming and shouting.

Turning my head to the right, Yoshi was shouting some random crap across the playground to someone.

To the left, the raccoon guy was lounging in a comfy looking chair.

I went back to staring at the sky. The stars flashed in and out of my vision and the effect made it look like the stars were twinkling. Slightly disorientating if you ask me.

Man I was so goddamn bored. One would think being in the middle of some epic mafia showdown, there'd be a lot of action and shit.

To the left, the raccoon tail guy was suddenly frozen in some iceberg thing.

To the right, the baby with the hood suddenly appeared holding a bunch of glowing rings.

_Seriously, what the fuck is going on?_

Sighing I gave up on trying to work out what was happening. Everything was upside-down or sideways to me anyways, so really, what's the point in paying attention? Hell, they didn't even fucking notice I was there. It'd been, what, an hour or so now?

To the right, the assassin of Raccoon guy were doing shit against Yoshi and co.

To the left, a tall dark haired guy had appeared. As he turned his head I could see two stripes on the side of his face that looked really cool.

But as fun as it was to crane my head awkwardly to see who stripy faced guy was, I was getting neck cramps. So I turned back to the sky. For what felt like the hundredth time that night.

Then out of nowhere Hibari's face appeared in my line of vision and I almost had a heart attack. See, imagine you're lying there having a perfectly nice view of the black, black star-studded sky. Then suddenly this fugly thing materialises in your face, trust me, you'd have a heart attack too.

There was silence.

I felt uncomfortable being looked down upon, by him no less, and so tried to get up via sit-ups. To no avail. Yeah well, abs were never really my thing anyways…

Then a heavy weight fell on my feet and I was able to force myself to a sitting position. Turns out the heavy weight was Hibari's foot.

_Did he do that on purpose to help me…? Or was he trying for the step-on-inferior-beings-to-make-myself-seem-more-s uperior approach?_

There was an awkward moment where I just sat there on the ground, my upper body not exactly perpendicular to the ground, with Hibari's foot still pressing on mine. Then my abs (or lack thereof) gave way and I fell flat back to the ground. And to make matters worse, the assface decided to kick me in my side. Wow. Another gentleman. Must be my lucky day.

I felt like a pancake. His kick flipped me over onto my stomach so I could taste what dirt was like. Not that I particularly wanted to know. But at least in that position I was able to semi crawl onto my knees and somehow did a bunny hop onto the balls of my feet.

Finally. I could feel gravity in its full glory.

Hang on…did Hibari do that on purpose?

I turned, more like jumped, around to face him. We stared at each other for another awkward moment.

"You're unhelpfully helpful, you know that Hibari?"

Hibari lunged in with his tonfas for what seemed like the kill and I instinctively put my bound arms up in front of my face. Heh, I was getting better at this whole fighting thing. Well, in my case it was more of a defence thing…

Anyways, Hibari's tonfas sliced at my wrists and then…poof, ropes snapped and my arms were free. Taking advantage of that fact, I bent down to untie the ropes on my feet and when I was finally able to look up to maybe, just maybe, thank Hibari for not exactly helping me, I saw his small figure walking away across the school compound.

* * *

**...yeah sorry this is "late"...**


	8. You're a waste of my money

**Yo...**

**so yeah**

**three weeks and three days since the last update yah?**

**i'd say thats pretty good...?**

**sorry about the rage last time, i guess you ppls dont know me well enough to know i swear quite a bit**

**awesomeo123 would know. she's the target of my insults most of the time...**

**yeah whatever this is a collaboration with awesomeo123 and i do not own KHR.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: You're a waste of my money**

I decided I needed break.

From my mother, school, Hibari, mafia and Yumi. Well, Yumi was just dealing with a shitload of mafia work from the weirdo matches at the school.

So you see, I decided to go to the amusement park.

And that was precisely the reason to my current problem.

"For the last time, we need ID for you to have a discount!"

I glared at the ticket guy. Bastard. "Do I not look like a fucking school kid? I FORGOT THE DAMN THING. Who the hell brings their ID on a weekend, goddamnit?"

"I still can't let you in with a discount ticket."

Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw the…solution, yet problem of my life.

Hibari.

I quickly grabbed his armband and dragged him over to show the reception guy. Thankfully, it was too crowded for him to get a good hit on me with his tonfas.

"See this guy? He can vouch for me. Now give me the discount, yeah?"

Immediately, his face paled by several shades. "H-Hibari-s-san! H-here you g-go."

I grabbed the change he was handing over, gave him a victorious grin and walked into the park. I thought it would be best to walk a bit further in, away from that damn ticket seller, but this time, when I tried moving forward, there was something holding me back. Confused, I scanned the area for the source and came face to face with…Hibari.

"DUDE!" I jerked back, away from him, but realised I couldn't because…I was still grabbing onto his armband. So that's why he was glaring so much… "Oh…dude..right, sorry man." Letting go of his armband, it suddenly dawned on me.

_Oh shit. Did I accidentally drag him in here? I mean, I guess it could totally happen. Wait a minute.._

I looked down at my hand that held the change.

_Hang on…I'm short on cash… does that mean… I PAID FOR HIS ENTRY TOO?! Unbelievable._

But going back to the vendor for a refund was much too fussy. And the guy wouldn't probably give it to me anyways. Well, fuck. Stuck with Hibari it is.

_But no, he hates crowds. He's just gonna leave then?_

_No way is he leaving after I paid for his goddamn ticket. I don't care if I have to drag him around, he is so not wasting my money like that._

I finally turned to look at Hibari again. His right eye was twitching really bad, his hands kept clenching and unclenching and he kept glancing around at the people in the park. There was a suspicious three metre radius distance between us and the people in the park who in turn were staring at us with wide eyes.

It was kinda awkward to say the least.

"So Hibari… since I was so nice as to have bought you an extremely expensive ticket into this extremely popular fun park, what say you to going around the place and having a little fun?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Okay then, I'll take that as a yes." I dragged the stubborn asshole who looked like he had gotten the hives away from the growing crowds of onlookers.

I thought I'd have had to force my way through the crowds like I usually did, but surprisingly as I dragged Hibari forward, the mass parted…like… like the red sea, I suppose.

* * *

I'd always wanted to go on a roller coaster. And just cause I felt like it, I went up to the very front and ended up sitting next to some random guy. Apparently Hibari wanted to go on too, otherwise, I suppose he wouldn't have walked up to the guy beside me and glared.

"Oi, you got a problem punk?" muttered the guy, who was obviously not very intelligent or could not read the flashy armband that came with Hibari's uniform, as he frowned distastefully at Hibari.

Hibari just glared. And threw him out of the seat. Several people behind us immediately left, muttering among themselves and honestly I didn't blame them.

We were receiving quite a few stares, but I doubted anyone was willing to argue. Not verbally anyways. And the conductor person seemed to be MIA.

The safety harness things came down on top of us and I looked over at Hibari to see him with what was probably his 'da fq' face. He immediately tried to rip it and seemed either really surprised or pissed off when they did not budge.

Smirking, I told him, "Don't bother man. They're designed for _maximum security_… I mean safety."

He gave a glare but stopped struggling, but throughout the whole thing, Hibari kept fidgeting and occasionally I would see his eye twitching from irritation.

As the ride slowed down signalling the end of the ride, Hibari once again tried to get out of his seat. He failed, and in a way, it was comforting to know he really was only human.

"So, Hibari…wanna go again?"

* * *

Hibari didn't look so happy after the roller coaster. Just to make sure he'd have high spirits for the rest of the theme park, I decided to taunt him about his lack of guts-well, just a bit. Of course this ended up lasting for most of the adrenaline rushing rides.

-On the pirate ship-

"Oh, are you feeling a bit weak Hibari? I'll understand completely if you don't want to try it, man. I won't judge."

He glared made his way through to the front of the line. I quickly followed until I guy stopped me saying, "Hey! No cutting the line!"

Hibari stopped, turned and glared. Problem solved.

_Sweet, he's like a VIP pass._

-On the bumper cars-

"I bet you can't even drive…"

He slammed my cars so many times I swear I lost a few brain cells from my head hitting the steering wheel.

-On the centrifuge-

"Are you man enough?"

He glared so much at the kid on the opposite end, the poor thing's face turned green. Although that might have just been the effect of the ride, I couldn't tell.

By midday, Hibari wasn't looking too good. Maybe he was just hungry but personally, I thought he looked slightly off colour. I chose to let him off the hook for a bit.

I sat him down near the toilets just in case, it was kinda nerve-wracking for him to be so…tame, but I guess a whole bunch of thrill rides does that to a weak pussy.

"So, Hibari, stay here. I'm just gonna go over there to play some carnival games, okay? Don't go home cause then you'd be wasting my money."

"…"

I left him there and went up to one of those shooting stalls. From the sides it looked easy enough, how hard can something like that possibly be?

One, two, three games and still the targets were clean of any bullets from my gun. Sure, there was a suspicious looking hole in the roof, and maybe quite a lot of the prizes had bullet marks on them, and the vendor _might_ have been hiding under the stall table clutching an injured arm, but really, my aim wasn't _that_ bad now was it?

"This is stupid. I bet the thing is totally rigged," I muttered.

"You suck."

I swivelled to see Hibari giving me a distasteful look. "Oh, what, you think you can do better?"

He grabbed the gun, hefting it up and _bang, bang, bang._ All his bullets more or less hit the target. The vendor jumped up, quickly grabbed the biggest prize, shoved it in my face and closed his stall.

I stood there staring at the gigantic stuffed panda. There were two holes on its left ear. Hibari just stood there staring at me.

"Your prize, bro." I offered the thing to him.

He glared as if saying '_I would not be caught dead holding something like that'_ and stalked off.

* * *

My stomach rumbled and I stared mournfully at my wallet. My _empty_ wallet. I slumped into a nearby chair and leaned back, closing my eyes.

_No problem. It's cool. I'll just starve it out. Curse Hibari for wasting my money for his entry ticket. Now I have no lunch. But it's all good, I'm sure I'll live…_

Something slammed onto the table and I jerked upright to see a bento in front of me. Confused, I looked up at Hibari. Behind him I could see a vendor guy crying on the floor with a tonfa-like mark on his face. I looked at Hibari and pointed at the vendor, "Did you…"

Hibari cut me off with a glare and then turned off to go somewhere.

I got up and walked off in the direction of the Ferris wheel. It seemed to be a nice place to go eat lunch. The carriages were clean, more or less, spacious, had a nice view, and there was even a table. Getting in line I suddenly noticed Hibari was next to me, either he had the same thing in mind for a quiet lunch…or he was following me.

Just to check, I told him, "Um, you can do whatever you want now, I think the ticket I bought you has been used to its potential. You can patrol, go beat people up, go home. I'm just gonna eat lunch here, where it's nice and peaceful."

He ignored me and proceeded to enter the next carriage. A couple who were already in there bolted out and I realised if I didn't go in with Hibari, I'd be stuck with a crowd of loud people. he was the crowd repeller.

_Fuck this. Hibari's company is better than that of normal people._

I lunged into the carriage at the last second and the conductor frowned at my bento, "You can't eat here, miss-"

A glare from Hibari silenced him and the door was quickly secured and soon we were off into the sky. I admired the view for a bit, but when I finally turned around to face Hibari.

There was an awkward silence.

I opened my bento and started shovelling the food down my throat and halfway through I remembered that I never did thank him for it.

"Y'know Hibari, I forgot to say than-"

There was a sudden jolt and the lights in the ride flickered off. A mechanical voice came from the speakers saying something about a malfunction, blah di blah, apologizing for the inconvenience etc.

Hibari looked pissed. Really pissed. He pulled out a tonfa, smashed open the door and jumped out, somehow defying every rule of physics, and survived. Well, my eyesight wasn't great, but the blob moved. Seriously, the guy couldn't even manage to wait for a few minutes? Talk about impatient.

Turns out the delay took 45 minutes. It probably would've taken less time if a certain someone hadn't destroyed some part of the control system on his way down. I almost regretted not going down with Hibari. Almost. Because if I did, I would have most likely gotten stuck on a random pole in the middle. And really, I think I've had more than my fair share of pole incidents thank you very much.

Back on ground zero, I left the park. Yumi was waiting for me at the gate. Man, he looked really tired. How did he know where I was?

"My mum told you I kinda snuck out of my house, didn't she?" I greeted. Well, that wasn't much of a greeting.

"Again," he added. "Did it not occur to you that just because your mum so happened to be asleep when you left the house, she might not be by the time you came back?"

"Ahaha…oops?"

Yumi sighed and gestured to his car, "Just get in. And what the hell is that thing?"

As I got into the shotgun seat, I looked at what he was pointing to. The panda. I'd completely forgotten. "Um, yeah I won it…well I didn't win it, Hibari did, but yeah it's a stuffed toy…"

Yumi stared disbelievingly at me.

* * *

Fuyumi was having a mini heart attack. "…You were with that boy? K-chan…"

"No, no, it was a mere...coincidence, he just happened to be there when I was about to go in and one thing led to another…"

Fuyumi was at a crossroads. He really didn't know a more...subtle way to approach the topic of how Kaze felt about that Disciplinary Committee guy. She was trying so hard to defend her reasons for spending a day with that guy.

"...until he jumped out the ferris wheel, but that's not important," she finished. "You can have the panda alright?"

"You should keep it. It's something kinda girly." After all, he wanted Kaze to get in touch with her inner girl.

"Yeah, no, I'll pass thanks."

It wasn't really working.

Fuyumi decided to just come out with it.

"So K-chan, you like Kyo-chan yes?"

She swivelled on the couch to face him, gagging. Fuyumi resisted the urge to shake his head at the tactlessness. With her eyes wide with shock, he couldn't help but feel a small twinge of sadness. It was probably the same feeling fathers got when they walked their daughters down the aisle…

"The hell no! Dude what are you thinking?!" Kaze's choked splutter brought Fuyumi out of his pool of nostalgia. Yumi could already see the end. His little K-chan was growing up. Leaving him.

"So how much do you like him? I mean, you went on a date with him at the amusement park and all…" Watching her get all worked up was always so funny. But this time, it was because of a different person. A different _guy_. Something knotted uncomfortably inside.

Fuyumi felt his vision had gone hazy. He couldn't tell what was right and what was wrong sometimes. Ever since that night he piggybacked Kaze home from the school hospital, he knew he was losing her. From that day, he felt her drifting away.

It was like he was like losing his brother all over again. But this time, it was worse, because this time Kaze was taking herself away from him.

Ever since he was small, Fuyumi had a habit of keeping things he liked close to him. No one but family could touch his toys and if he ever made a friend, that friend wasn't allowed to play with anyone else. One could say he was emotionally clingy. It was better now, so much better. But sometimes he would still get that tight knotted feeling in his gut.

Kaze finally seemed to regain her ability to speak. "No Yumi, I don't like him. And I told you! It was a coincidence he was there! For crying out loud don't you listen to what I say anymore?"

"Sure I listen K-chan. I'm listening now to hear what you say about how much you like Kyo-chan." Fuyumi could tell Kaze was not happy at the way he was ignoring her. But he couldn't help it. Riling her up was fun, but he was careful not to cross the fine line between teasing and outright pissing someone off.

Kaze glared at Fuyumi and gave an exasperated sigh. She turned to face a window and pointed outside, "Fine, look at the sky and count how many stars you can see. That's how much I like Hibari."

"…but it's still daytime, K-chan."

"I rest my case."

Kaze gave a harrumph and turned on the television. Her eyes were still laced with irritation. So he did go a bit too far.

Well, she liked that iinchou. Fuyumi was certain, even if Kaze didn't know it. After all, the sun, the one thing humans couldn't live without, was a star. If that's how much Fuyumi's K-chan liked that boy…

He did not want to let Kaze go. Especially to someone like that mafia boy. But he'd read somewhere, 'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours'.

Only problem was, if Fuyumi let Kaze go, he knew for a fact she wouldn't come back to him. That skylark would never allow it.

As he glanced at Kaze every now and then, he could see it. His K-chan was changing. And he couldn't catch up. She was running ahead on the hypothetical track of life. They had both sat on the sidelines for so long, he thought that was all there was. But now she had gotten up, and she was running. Away from him.

And for the first time in so long, Fuyumi saw himself get left behind again.

And once again, he was alone.

* * *

**btw, i actually didn't fail my english exam**

**-fist pump-**


	9. You're Illogical

**Le shock.**

**i updated**

**in a week.**

**ish.**

**more like two.**

**it would have been a week but then me and awesomeo found plotholes we had to fix.**

**so yah**

**im so proud of myself. and awesomeo. but mainly myself.**

**ASDFGHJKL FUCK YEAH**

**this is a collaboration with awesomeo123.**

**i dont own khr**

* * *

**Chapter 9 : You're Illogical**

_Five year old Kaze sat rigidly on the couch, trying her best to fix her eyes on the moving colours on the screen. The images didn't register over the loud argument between her parents as they stood in front of the television, blocking most of her view anyway. She was too young to know what they were saying, but old enough to know that they were arguing. The raised voices and gestures in her direction spoke volumes of the reason why._

_Then her mother lunged at her, pulling Kaze in front of her yelling at the buff European man opposite her, "Look, you shouldn't be so violent in front of a child!"_

_"Don't bring her into this!" Kaze's father stepped forward and grabbed a fistful of her mother's hair, the woman screamed and in turned scratched at the man's arm, trying to grip some of his hair too. Succeeding in that, she yelled, "Don't grab my hair you bastard! When I do it to you doesn't it hurt? Do you feel that?!"_

_In her efforts to retaliate, Kaze's mother had scratched the child's face with her nails. Kaze fell to the floor and briefly looked up at the adults, and she burst out in a fit of hysterical laughter. It was ridiculous. Pulling each other's hair? Really? How mature. Tears were slowly trickling down her chubby cheeks and a drop of blood from her mother's scratch mixed with the salty water, leaving a red trail down her face._

_Suddenly her mother grabbed her arm, pulling her up, "Kaze you disrespectful child! You see your mother getting attacked by your father and you don't stand to protect me? You would let me get hurt?! You should tell your father to stop his stupidity!"_

_The man frowned and stepped forward to take Kaze's other arm and Kaze stood in the middle being pulled apart, mentally and physically, by the most important people in her life, who just continued yelling at each other._

_"Hiding behind a child! Come out so we can settle this like adults! I won't suffer your cowardice!"_

_"No! No! You hear that Kaze?! Your father is a terrible man! He's calling me bad names!"_

_Kaze gave another burst of laughter and her father took her mother's moment of distraction to step forward and shove the woman away. In doing so she fell and pulled Kaze along with her; a loud crack was heard as the child's head rammed against the coffee table._

_Silence reigned supreme before Kaze burst into tears, cries, and laughter. The adults continued arguing; simply blaming each other for faults they had both been responsible for._

_All of a sudden the front door burst open and a young teen with bright blue eyes and shiny black hair entered, breathing as if he had just run a marathon. Fuyumi's face was masked with concern, and as his eyes landed on Kaze he quickly rushed to her, pulled her close and picked her up. He walked past the adults who had fallen silent at his entrance without a glance, and walked away cradling the bawling Kaze away._

_Fuyumi passed his father on the porch. They briefly made eye contact, as they went their different ways. Sakurai Akiya-san was an old classmate of Kaze's father, whilst the late Mrs Sakurai Haruko had been a close friend of her mother. Akiya knew them both well enough to reason with them._

_"We…well, Yumi came running when we were close enough to the house to hear the racket…"_

* * *

Tsuna was on the verge of tears. Again. Well, actually, considering he was on the verge of tears for most his time nowadays after meeting Reborn, he really should be used to it now. But alas, he was Dame-Tsuna. And Dame-Tsuna was a crybaby.

"Gokudera-kun! What are you doing? We were meant to finish this project this week!" he whispered at the silverette.

"No worries Juudaime! You don't have to do anything! I'll have it done in no time and you can just relax!" Gokuera continued drawing pictures with a mass of rulers and protractors.

Tsuna resisted the urge to rip his hair out. He could see the teacher at the front glaring at his group's lack of progress – the woman didn't even try to hide her contempt. He turned to see if Yamamoto was doing any better, as his partner was the notorious Kami Kaze.

Gokudera's glare at the pair was on par with the teacher's. "Tch. They're getting along well. Too well."

"…They're both sleeping Gokudera-kun."

Yamamoto was leaning back in his chair with his mouth slightly open. Small snores could be heard. Kaze was sitting opposite him, straddling a chair with her head in her arms on Yamamoto's table, eyes closed.

"Yeah well…they're still getting along while they sleep."

"…" Tsuna sighed. Why was his life so exasperating?

* * *

After school I decided to stay back at school. My mother had some arrangement and wouldn't be home till late, giving me a rare chance of freedom. Walking around the school something caught my eye; one of the music rooms had its door open. Not smart considering this school didn't have that great of an honest student body. But anyways, it was a room full of musical instruments. Now how could I resist that?

I went in and looked around. In the corner there was an old piano. I slowly walked over to it. I'd learnt keyboard and a bit of guitar, but my mum had sold them a year ago because she said we needed the money. I hadn't touched an instrument in years. Sitting down I tried playing some of the songs I could remember. I failed. Epically. Then I felt someone's presence in the room. Turning to the door I saw Goku standing there just creepily staring at me.

We stayed like that for a while and he'd opened his mouth a few times to say something, but it looked like he changed his mind every time. He had a slight frown on his face and he looked really troubled. I was surprised to see him away from Yoshi, him being the loyal puppy dog he was.

He finally spoke, "You're playing the high G off key."

There was another moment of silence. What the fuck was that meant to mean? I didn't do no theory goddamit. I decided to nod like I understood him and turned back to the piano, making sure to play songs that completely swerved around the high G.

When I finally had the nerve to turn back to the door, he was gone. There was a bunch of pink smoke where he had been standing though. I stared at the doorway, utterly confused and then a guy with messy red hair and gigantic glasses stepped out of the smoke. He looked down at a piece of paper he had in his hands, looked back up at me, opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and left.

Completely weirded out by what just happened I stopped playing the piano and decided to take a guitar up to the roof. No need to have anymore awkward encounters with strange verbally challenged guys.

I chose a nice shady corner of the roof (there were none) to sit in and started randomly strumming random chords. I suddenly found myself randomly plucking the notes of the school song. What a sad, sad life…

But then again, the school song wasn't that bad. It was just…a little nerdy…I guess?

The door opened and Hibari stood there glaring.

I stared.

He stared.

I stared back plucking a few strings.

"Instruments are not allowed to leave the music rooms."

"It's still technically in school grounds so…"

He glared. "Students are not allowed on the school roof."

"But you're on it."

"I am not a student."

"Then why are you in the school's student uniform?"

"I can wear whatever I want."

"And you chose the school uniform…?"

"What are you implying?"

"Oh nothing…much."

Hibari must have been offended, (personally I couldn't tell) but otherwise he would not have magically taken out his tonfas and started charging. Like a battery. Lol jokes, no.

In an act of defense I brought up the guitar as a shield.

He smashed it. To pieces.

_Oh you poor guitar I am so sorry to have brought this upon you._

"Oh my gawd, you broke school property, Hibari."

"'Hn. You're paying for that."

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! YOU BROKE IT!"

"By taking it out of the music rooms, it becomes your responsibility."

'B-b-but… _YOU_ BROKE IT!"

He ignored me, turned on his heel and walked away. The bastard. I was tempted to take a guitar shard and throw it at him, but then again, I would probably miss. Fuck life.

* * *

_In the future..._

Tsuna trudged dejectedly to the Foundation underground base sighing, "I can't believe Reborn is making me find Hibari-san for him..."

"I can't stand the nerve of that Hibari! Making Juudaime go out of his way to find the bastard! He should come to you whenever you want!" Gokudera declared angrily.

Yamamoto grinned. "Haha, it's fine. It's fun exploring new places."

Tsuna sighed. Again. "Well, let's just try to find him and leave without pissing him off. Gokudera, Yamamoto, can you guys check the rooms on the right? I'll do the left."

"Hai Juudaime!"

"Haha, sure thing Tsuna."

Most of the doors were locked. Finally, after half an hour, they reached a corridor with a single light on. Exhausted, the three opened the door without knocking, and walked straight into the room.

Although the lighting was dim, Tsuna could see that the room was fairly bare apart from painted random patterns and swirls on the roof and walls. A pinboard littered with heaps of pieces of random paper covered an entire wall. Most had rough sketches on them which Tsuna thought were pretty good, and in the centre there was one photo, but of what or whom, he couldn't make out.

Furniture wise, there was only a small bed in which a female figure with long brown hair had accommodated. Her bangs were long and covered most of her face. Tsuna couldn't help feeling it reminded him of a certain prince. Next to the unconscious body stood the person they were looking for. "Hibari-san! We finally found you! Ano, I think Reborn wants to talk to you about something…"

Hibari glared.

"Haha, Hibari-san, who's that girl next to you? Is she alright? She reminds me of Kaze-san. Haha, now that I think about it, I left Kaze back in the past with an assignment, oops."

Tsuna stared disbelievingly at the still body and suddenly became aware of the heart monitor's ominously slow beeping rate in the background. "…Hibari-san, why is Kaze-san unconscious? And why is she in Foundation? I thought she wasn't mafia...?"

Hibari glared.

"Oi! You! Answer Juudaime's questions!" Gokudera barked, and Yamamoto struggled to hold him back.

Kusakube entered the room, and judged the situation quickly. "Kyo-san, I'll escort the Vongola back to their base." He gestured for them to come out.

"Tch. Fine. Let's go, Juudaime."

"A-Ah, sure." As Tsuna left, he glanced at Hibari. "I'm sorry, Hibari-san."

And obviously, Hibari glared.

On the route back to the Vongola base, Kusakube spoke first. "I'm sorry, Kyo-san doesn't like to have his personal life intruded upon."

Tsuna cleared his throat. "Kusakabe-san…I thought…I thought Kaze-san wasn't involved with the mafia. I mean, we saw her at the Varia ring battles a few times and I know she knows someone involved, but...what happened to her?"

"It's not exactly my story to tell," Kusakube murmured. "But in the future, she's quite close with Hibari. She was a spectator; she never involved herself with the mafia."

"Ha. Figures. They're so alike," Gokudera scoffed.

"Please tell me, Kusakube-san," Tsuna insisted. "Hibari-san shouldn't have to bear this on his own."

Kusakube nodded. "On Kaze-san's 22nd birthday, she was meant to meet Kyo-san on a cliffside for a picnic. Kyo-san was late; and the Millefiore ambushed her. We think she made the jump herself because we found no obvious signs of external force. When Kyo-san arrived, he found her at the foot of the cliff on the brink of death. He tried to save her, but the medicine in this era wasn't advanced enough to save her completely. She won't wake up."

"Wait, forever?" Yamamoto interrupted.

"Kyo-san travelled the world to find a cure. The best results were the dying will flames. He figured that the activation attribute of the sun flame and the propagation attribute of the cloud flame could save her."

Tsuna looked at his feet. He couldn't forgive the Millefiore.

* * *

I swear, this was going to be the last time I ever do any group project with Yoshi or any of his associates. Seriously, if you're going to ditch your partner GIVE A BLOODY HEADS UP. TAKESHI YOU BASTARD. It'd been what, two days? And Yoshi and Goku were also away. Great. Probably some mafia thing.

It was so not fair. Their lives seemed so interesting; fights, bombs, explosion, _freedom_. The least they could've done was tell me about it. I wasn't asking for that much was I? I didn't want to be boss of some family, I didn't want to be all pro at fighting…well, actually that'd be pretty nice, but not the point. I would be perfectly happy to sit on the sidelines in all their epic fights and stuff. I mean, at least that way I could _watch_.

Well, I couldn't really confirm that it was a mafia thing. That girl…whatshername…Kyoko, she hadn't been to school either. And there was no way in hell she would be involved in something to do with the mafia, could she? One day was a coincidence. Two days was just...suspicious.

Fuming, I walked out of the class at the end of the period and had an epiphany.

_Hibari head of the Disciplinary Committee. I bet he knows where absent people are! Or at least an address, so I can yell at Takeshi._

I half jogged to his office and burst into the room.

It was empty.

Oh come on, is he having a bathroom break of something?!

"Excuse me, students are not permitted in the Disciplinary Committee's office."

I turned angrily. It was that guy. With the retarded hair. Was his name Kusakuse? Kusakube? "You. Where's Hibari?"

"Do you have business with Hibari-san?"

"No, I'm here to admire the décor. YES I'M HERE FOR HIBARI."

"Er…Hibari-san is absent from school. Sorry for the inconvenience. Now please, I must ask you to return to class."

FUCK. HIM TOO? HE'D BETTER HAVE THE BLOODY PLAGUE OR SOMETHING.

* * *

I was bored out of my mind. What did normal people do in their free time anyways? Like, seriously, here I was, sitting at home, with absolutely nothing to do. Read a book? I'd read all my books about a hundred times and my mum seemed to not like me going to the library. Surf the net? I got no net. Mum says there's bad stuff on it. Listen to music? That doesn't relieve my boredom. Draw? My sketches were so bad it burned my eyes.

So I was left with no choice but to spin around on my spinny desk chair until the world spun.

I was tempted to sneak out of the house, but really, what would I do? I'd already been to the amusement park and really, there wasn't much else in this small town. Not to mention that I was more or less broke, thanks to Hibari. Conveniently my mum had left to go…do something. She never told me where she went and honestly, I didn't give a damn. She'd locked the door on her way out to discourage me from sneaking out. Honestly – why did adults never think of windows?

Walking around town, I was glad for the cloud cover. Clouds, that reminded me of that time in Yoshi's mafia battle ting where the baby Reborn said something about Hibari being a cloud. Psht. Yeah, like he could ever be anything close to a cloud. Actually, maybe he was like a cloud; when they go away, it was a beautiful day.

I eventually arrived at a small park and sat on the swings. I dazed off for a bit, enjoying the peace. There were few kids ran around laughing and adults walking by today.

Tsuna and his crew weren't back yet. I was concerned for their safety when they got back -flexes fingers-. And then there was Hibari. I wasn't concerned for his safety at all. But I respected him. In some sense, anyway. His hatred of crowds, VIP status – that stuff.

Then suddenly, a man came walking around the corner and I nearly fell off the swing. I'd only been a child since I last saw his bronze hair, but I recognised it immediately. He hadn't changed a bit, it was so nostalgic.

As he looked around cautiously, I averted my gaze inconspicuously, hoping he hadn't seen me and if he had - wouldn't recognise me. After all, it had been ten years since we'd looked each other in the eye, and I'd grown quite a bit.

But alas, I heard footsteps approach and I internally groaned.

"Guten morgen, Kaze. Do you remember me?"

Looking up, I forced an awkward smile. "Uh…yeah…hey, Dad. Long time no see."


End file.
